


Tripping Head First

by nerdsarehot75



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-01 22:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5223617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdsarehot75/pseuds/nerdsarehot75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Q had a secret?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kathryn Janeway was sitting in her Ready Room, making her way through a pile of reports sitting on her desk. Or at least she was trying to. Her brain seemed to only be able to concentrate on one thing and one thing only; Chakotay was seeing Seven. Chakotay was dating Seven. Chakotay was sleeping with Seven. She had always thought, always assumed, Chakotay would… But that was a ridiculous line of thinking. Of course Chakotay wouldn’t hang around waiting for her forever. It was perfectly within his right to carry on with his life and become romantically involved with whomever he chose. She knew all this. Hell, she accepted it. It just didn’t make it any easier. Did he think Seven was more attractive than her? What was she thinking? Every male and most of the females believed exactly that. She couldn’t compete with the leggy blonde. Couldn’t even begin to compete with her. She knew and accepted all of it and yet it didn’t make the pain lessen. She’d begun to withdraw herself from them. From their lives. Allow herself to watch them as a crewman. Never intruding, always wondering. But, she had to remind herself, this is what she signed up for. To not have relations with her subordinates. And out here everyone was her subordinate. She had destined herself to loneliness, but you can never crush the hope.

A flash of light brought her from her revue. She looked up to find Q sitting on her couch, his legs crossed and looking as if it was his couch he was residing on. 

“Hello Kathy,” he greeted, making no move to get up. 

“Q,” she said, exasperation clear in her voice. The omnipotent being had a knack for turning up when he was least wanted. 

“Well I was hoping for a better reception then that, my dear Kathy, but given your present circumstance I’m inclined to allow you this little slip.” he responded, smiling as if he knew a great, dark secret. 

“What the hell are you talking about Q?” she asked, her exasperation growing.

“Your current romantic situation,” he smirked. 

Kathryn was stunned. She was sure that it showed on her face but was unable to rein it in. 

“Oh yes, Kathy. I know how your little monkey boy chose that drone over you. And before you say it, I know she’s an important part of your crew and she’s invaluable and blah blah blah. But I know you Kathy. Does it make it hurt less when you see them together? Can you look them in the eye without feeling something stirring in your stomach? But maybe this will open your eyes. He couldn’t wait for you. Is such a man worth your time? A man who can’t see what a beautiful intelligent woman you are? A man who would chose a former Borg drone over someone so full of life? Maybe now you’ll realise you were just looking at the wrong man the whole time.” Q said as he made his way behind Kathryn’s chair.

Even though some of what Q said angered her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that what he was saying was right. Maybe she had been looking at this all wrong.

“Maybe,” Q began to say. “You should look at… Well, at me,” he pronounced, placing a hand on her shoulder. Kathryn spun around. 

“You?” she gasped.

“Yes, me. Oh don’t sound so shocked. Is it really such a horrible idea? I could give you everything you could ever want. And who wouldn’t want to be with a godlike being? Think about it Kathy. You and me. Would it really be so bad?” he asked sounding genuine, but with Q you never knew. 

“Q, this is inconceivable. I would never,” Kathryn argued, standing up and walking towards the replicator, “even consider being in a relationship with you of all people.”

“Now what’s that supposed to mean, Kathy?” he cried out, the hurt and indignation clear in his voice. 

Kathryn sighed. Looks like today was going to be more difficult than she initially thought. 

“Q, we’ve been through this before. I have no interest in mating with you.”

“Kathy, you’ve misinterpreted what I’m saying. I’m not talking about simply mating, although,” he suggested, his eyes moving over her body, sending tingles shooting through every place they rested on. “No, dear Kathy,” he said, his eyes yet again focusing on hers again, “I’m talking about, oh what is it you humans call it? Ah, yes. A proper, meaningful relationship.”

To say Kathryn was shocked wouldn’t even begin to cover what she was feeling. What he was asking was ridiculous and not even worth considering. But even so… No, she wouldn’t allow her mind to even go down that path. It was completely out of the question. She was just feeling lonely. This feeling would pass, she was sure of it. She hadn’t needed a man before all of this and she didn’t need one now. 

“Leave, Q,” she demanded, her voice full of ice. 

“Kathy, I don’t think you know what you’re turning down,” he said cockily. She turned her icy stare on him. For a moment it looked like he would flinch but he remained as he was. “Maybe you just need more time to come to terms with what I’ve offered. I’ll be back soon, Kathy, my love.” And with that he disappeared in a flash. Kathryn sat back in her chair holding her cup of coffee, thinking. She tapped her com badge.

“Janeway to Security, Intruder alert.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn spent the better part of the next week expecting Q to pop up at every turn. By the time she had given up on the idea of him returning, the small ball of loneliness in her stomach had grown into an all-consuming thought. Damn you, Q she silently cursed as she walked through the halls towards her quarters. She’d found everywhere she looked, over the past week, there had been a happy couple. She understood the need for human contact but she couldn’t help feeling hatred towards their happiness when she was bereft of it. She punched in her access code and strode into her quarters. She moved towards the pile of PADDs sitting on her desk, planning on reading them. She stopped short when she saw the rose sitting on her desk. She gently picked it up. It was a normal blood red rose but each petal was tipped with gold. She held it to her nose. The smell was infinitely sweeter than that of a normal earth rose. There was only one being who could of placed this rose here; Q. She let out a sigh, imagining receiving these kinds of gifts all the time from a man who loved her. No, these sorts of thoughts would only lead to wistfulness. Still, the rose was lovely and she could not help but feel her mood lift with the thought that Q was still thinking about her.

“Thank you, Q,” she whispered into the rose as she took another whiff of its beautiful smell.

She tensed suddenly when a pair of strong arms circled her waist, pulling her towards a warm body. She relaxed when she heard “You’re quite welcome Kathy,” breathed in her ear.

“Q,” she said somewhat sternly, unable to really be annoyed with him. 

He gently nuzzled his nose in her hair, pulling her closer. “I was passing this lovely bush of roses when I thought of you. I just had to give you one,” he declared in what Kathryn thought was a tender voice, but this was Q she was talking about. Q couldn’t be tender, could he? She suddenly realised how close they were standing.

“Q, would you please release me?” Kathryn sternly asked trying to escape his hold.

“Oh but Kathy, I’m enjoying myself too much to comply with your request,” Q whispered into her ear. 

“Q,” she warned.

He sighed and removed his arms from around her body. She turned around to face him and saw a look of disappointment flash across his features. Kathryn smiled as he turned from her to sit on her couch. She followed him, sitting close enough to talk but not to suggest anything else. 

“Q why are you back?” she questioned him.

“I’ve already told you Kathy. I want a relationship with you. That’s all I’m asking,” he stated, gazing into her eyes. 

“And I’ve already told you that isn’t going to happen,” she scowled, her voice instantly turning icy. “Besides, you always have a hidden agenda. It’s never as straight as that with you. What do you really want?”

“You’re right. Maybe I haven’t been straight with you. I must confess, this isn’t easy for me and the Q Continuum… Well, they don’t like this idea much. But I must tell you Kathy. Ever since you told me to leave your quarters that first night I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. The truth is Kathy, I’m in love with you,” Q cried reaching for her hand.

Kathryn’s mouth gaped in shock. This was absolutely ridiculous. Q couldn’t be in love with her. He had a wife and son. He was just trying to mess with her head. He must be lying. She knew her emotions were plain to see on her face but she couldn’t reel them in. He had completely thrown her.

“What do you say Kathy? Will you give me a chance?” Q asked, brushing the back of his fingers across her cheek. 

She spluttered for a second before replying “I said no before Q and I’m saying no now. I’m sorry but I can’t believe you’re really in love with me.”

“Kathy, you have heard many things about me but you yourself said I’m not a liar. I am in love with you. Why can’t you see how you’ve captured my heart? How can you doubt my feelings for you? They make my heart beat like a hummingbirds wings. My blood races through my veins at the mere thought of you. I can longer concentrate on the simplest of tasks. Your face fills my thoughts constantly. You are all I want and all I need. Please Kathy, just say yes.” Q implored standing from his dramatic speech.

“I’m sorry Q but I can’t become involved with you” Kathryn softly said looking up into his eyes.

“Why not?”

“Because Q, I’m not in love with you. It wouldn’t be right.”

“You’re still waiting for Chuckles aren’t you? Well guess what Kathryn. He isn’t waiting for you and he never will. He has your resident borg. He doesn’t want you like that. He only wants to be your friend. You’re living in a dream world Kathryn and it’s time for you to wake up!” he cried, his voice full of anger.

His words stung Kathryn more than wanted to admit but she wouldn’t allow him to see how they affected her. He wanted her to hurt. She quickly reeled her emotions in and replied, “Has it even crossed your mind that I just don’t want you?”

“Oh Kathy, so quick to break my heart. But I’ve seen it. You may be trying to hide it but it’s plain for me to see. You do want me. Why don’t you just allow yourself this little sliver of pleasure? It won’t hurt anyone,” he suggested enticingly.

Kathryn sighed and rolled her eyes. “Q, I don’t want you. I never have and I never will. Now please, leave my ship immediately.”

Q gently placed his hand on her cheek. He absentmindedly stroked it with the pad of his thumb as he said, “Oh, ma capitaine. I promise you right now I will not rest until I’ve captured your heart as surely as you’ve captured mine.” 

He gently placed a kiss upon her lips. It sent tingles shooting down her spine and bells ringing in her ears. Before she could respond Q had pulled back. 

“Goodbye for now my most beautiful captain,” he whispered softly. And with that he was gone, leaving Kathryn to the emptiness of her quarters. She sank down to her couch as she expelled a breath of air. She had just begun to go over everything that had just happened when her door chimed.

“Come.” she called distractedly. 

The door whooshed open admitting Chakotay into her quarters.

“Good evening Kathryn,” he greeted walking towards her.

“Oh, good evening Chakotay. How are you?” she asked looking up. 

“I’m well. I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner.”

“Of course,” she accepted, a smile lighting up her features.

“I was also wondering if Q has visited you yet?” he asked looking straight into her eyes.

The smile slipped from her face.

“As a matter of fact, you just missed him.”

“Do you know what he really wants yet?”

“Yes.” she stated in a matter of fact tone.

His probing gaze told her exactly what she wanted to know. He didn’t believe Q actually wanted her or maybe he just didn’t believe any man could want her. Not long ago she thought that he did but now… Well, now it didn’t matter. 

“I just feel as if we’re waiting for something terrible to happen,” he calmly stated, his eyes boring into hers. 

Yeah, she thought to herself sarcastically. “Why?” she asked him.

“Isn’t that always how it happens with Q?” he questioned. That was something she hated. He always seemed to answer questions with questions and it irked her to no end.

“I believe he’s genuine this time,” she said, the annoyance creeping into her voice. 

“Come on Kathryn. This is Q we’re talking about. Is he ever that up front about his intentions?” he asked moving into her personally space. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt Kathryn.”

“That’s very sweet of you Chakotay but don’t worry yourself. I can handle Q and I won’t let him get to me,” her voice dropped to an icy tone. 

“Of course, Kathryn. I guess I’ll see you on the bridge tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, if they had been on Earth, Kathryn was sure the birds would be singing merrily and the sun would be pouring through her window. In other words, exactly the opposite of how she was feeling. She sighed as she hopped out of bed and into the sonic shower, the events of last night running through her head at warp speed. First her visit from Q and his outrageous declaration of love, then her visit from Chakotay, ending in her argument with him and finally, realising Q was right and she was living in a fantasy. There would be no happy ending for Kathryn Janeway. She had come to realise that she had been holding out hope that Chakotay would leave Seven and fall in love with her. She silently cursed herself as she dressed. How could she be so stupid? She had allowed herself to be hurt before Q had even really begun and it was not even Q that had hurt her so deeply. In fact, in all of this Q had been upfront and honest and right now, even though she would never admit it, even to herself, she wanted Q. She marched out of her quarters and into the turbo lift. 

“Deck 2,” she called to the computer. What she really needed now was a good cup of coffee. 

She left the turbo lift and walked into the mess hall hoping for a short encounter there before reporting to the bridge. 

“Good morning, Captain,” Neelix cried rushing over to her, carrying a pot of what she hoped was coffee. He quickly poured the liquid into a cup and handed it to her. “I hope you have a good day.” he said rushing off to serve the new arrivals to the hall.   
Kathryn smiled as she took her first whiff of the delightful concoction she had been given. It smelled wonderful. As she took a sip she noticed two things. One, this wasn’t Neelix’s normal blend and two; it was the most delicious coffee she had ever had the pleasure of tasting. She gave content sigh as she walked out of the mess hall and into the turbo lift.

“Bridge.” she called to the computer, not able to wipe the smile off her face at the amazing gift of the coffee. 

As she walked onto the bridge she couldn’t help thinking about whose idea this new blend was. She was almost certain it was Q with his plan to woo her. She couldn’t help thinking that is this was wooing then she would happily comply with Q. She sat down in her command chair and noticed for the first time Chakotay wasn’t present on the bridge. 

“Where’s Commander Chakotay?” she asked, directing her question to Tuvok. 

“The commander has yet to show up for his shift,” Tuvok stated.

Hmmm, Kathryn thought to herself. He’s late. I wonder why?

She called out to Tuvok, “I’ll be in my ready room. You have the bridge.”

She entered her ready room and sat on the couch with a scowl in place. Chakotay was flying through her mind. Where was he and why was he late? She couldn’t help her mind from jumping to him and Seven in bed right now, allowing their passion to get in the way of rational thought. She sighed once again, feeling all the pain and anger welling up in her chest. A lone tear slipped from her eye. She felt a pair of strong arms enveloping her body, pulling her towards a warm body. She allowed another tear to leak from her eye as she snuggled into the body.

“Shhh, Kathy. It’s all going to be all right,” Q whispered in her ear soothingly, rubbing her back in long slow strokes. 

She felt a sob rack her body as she buried her head in his chest, pulling him closer. He kept whispering soothing things into her ear, allowing her to soak the front of his uniform. He gently pulled her into his lap, holding her as gently as he would a baby. Soon the sobs subsided and Kathryn looked up into Q’s gorgeous grey eyes.

“I’m sorry Q. I don’t know what came over me. I just…” Kathryn said, petering out, lowering her head so Q couldn’t see the vulnerability in her eyes.

“I’m sorry too, Kathy. Sorry that Chuckles has broken your heart so thoroughly. If I could change it I would. I can’t stand to see you in such pain,” he whispered into her hair. 

She slowly raised her head at his kind and love filled words. She searched his eyes, trying desperately to find some reason to believe that everything he had told her of his feelings had been a lie, knowing that as she did she would find no such evidence. In that moment, Kathryn finally fully believed Q. She gently pulled his head down and placed small kiss on his full lips. As she began to back away, Q cupped her face with his hand and brought his lips back to hers, putting all the emotions he held for this beautiful woman into them. He smiled internally when she reciprocated with some form of emotion of her own. She gave him a small, watery smile as he pulled back. The smile slowly slipped from her face as the realisation of what had just occurred hit her. This wasn’t right. She wasn’t meant to be encouraging Q. In fact, she was meant to be doing the opposite and this was not the way to go about it. It was just an act of loneliness, right? She couldn’t actually have any feelings for Q. That is just ridiculous. She sighed as she untangled herself from Q and stood up. 

“I’m sorry, Q, but I can’t do this. It’s not right,” Kathryn sighed once again.

“Do what?” Q asked.

“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about. I refuse to get your hopes up when nothing will come from them,” she snapped, walking to her desk.

“Kathryn, I appreciated your thoughtfulness but as long as you’re still alive I will always have hope that one day you will pursue a relationship with me,” Q cried, following her to her desk.

“No Q. I will not go down this path with you. Leave my ready room immediately,” she ordered, moving her attention to the first PADD of the pile on her desk. 

“Kathy,” he gently said. She sighed as she moved her attention again towards the omnipotent being. “I just want to be happy. And your First Officer is ruining your happiness. I know it’s hard but please, just give me a chance,” he whispered, his cocky façade slipping, revealing the vulnerability on his face. 

Kathryn sighed again; knowing that no matter what she did now there would always be someone who would disagree with her decision. 

“One chance, Q. You get one chance to show me how much this really means to you. After that I will make my decision and if my answer is no do you agree to leave me alone unless specifically asked?” Kathryn questioned.

“Of course, Kathy, my love. If your answer is no then I will no longer hound after you, asking for your undying love.” Q cried, throwing his arms out.

She couldn’t help but smile at his antics, thinking to herself I can’t wait to see what he comes up with. He quickly strode around her desk and wrapped his arms around her. 

“You won’t regret this, ma capitaine,” he whispered to her. 

He gently laid a kiss on her lips, allowing her to see the raw emotion he showed her earlier. Her knees began to tremble and she couldn’t help being glad he was holding her because she was sure she would fall if he wasn’t. He broke off the kiss and with an all knowing smirk, he clicked his fingers and disappeared in a flash of light. She quickly sat down in her chair, fearing her legs would give out underneath her. Her fingers passed over her lips as she smiled. She was beginning to think maybe Q was the cure to her unhappiness. Sure he was annoying and pompous and in general, a jerk but he always managed to bring a smile to her face, whether it be by conventional methods or not. 

She heard her door beep and distractedly called “Come.”

The door whooshed open to admit Chakotay into her ready room. 

“Captain,” he said bringing her attention to him fully. She couldn’t but think he looked good as her eyes scanned his face.

“Commander,” she replied. 

“I wanted to apologize,” he said sending butterflies fluttering in her stomach. He wanted to apologise. He really did care. “I’m sorry I’m late for my duty shift. I don’t have a worthy excuse and I promise it won’t happen again.” he stated, looking deeply into her eyes. 

Immediately her heart plummeted. Of course it was because he was late. How could she believe it could be anything else? 

“Of course, Commander. Make sure it never happens again,” she voice turned several degrees colder. “Dismissed.”

Kathryn went back to the PADD in her hand. After a minute without the sound of the door opening and closing she looked up to find Chakotay still standing in front of her desk. 

“Was there anything else, Commander?” she asked.

“As a matter of fact Kathryn, there was,” he said perching on the corner of her desk. This really annoyed her as he was acting as if nothing had happened last night. As if they were still as close as they always were. 

“What is it, Commander?” she asked, not letting him think she had forgotten what had happened nor was she forgiving him.

“I feel as if you should have more protection against Q. just because he hasn’t done anything yet doesn’t mean he won’t try in the future. This time he can make it more fun for himself by trying to worm his way into your bed.” he cried, angrily standing up.

“You are out of line, Commander. My relationship with Q is none of your business. You lost that right last night,” she stated icily, following his lead and standing up, leaning on her desk to glare at him.

“It becomes my business when it may affect the running of Voyager,” he almost shouted.

“This won’t,” she said firmly. 

“How do you know that Kathryn? Be honest. You have no idea what a relationship with Q involves. You’re just hoping for the best,” he scathingly cried.

“No one knows what a relationship with anyone entails. You can only hope for the best. Do you want me to be alone forever? Is that it?”

“Of course not. Just choose anyone but him.”

“The fact of the matter is Chakotay, it isn’t your decision to make. It never was. It’s mine and I’ve already made it,” 

“So you’re dating him now?” he asked sadly. She could only wonder why he was so sad about all this. 

“Not yet, but I’m giving him a chance.” she explained. 

“Then I should inform you that you don’t have my agreement with this decision. I can’ help but wonder…” he sadly petered off.

“What Chakotay? You can’t help but wonder what exactly?” she asked, feeling it wouldn’t be something nice. 

“I can’t help but wonder whether you’re doing this because you’re lonely and not because you actually have feelings for Q,” he whispered, looking towards his feet. 

Kathryn sighed as she sat back in her chair.

“Chakotay -” she began when she was cut off by a flash of light, signalling the arrival of the person of their conversation. 

“How could you say such a thing?” Q cried dramatically, a look of pure loathing on his face as he directed it towards Chakotay.

“Q,” Chakotay grinded out. 

“Q, what are you doing back here?” Kathryn asked. Q’s whole countenance changed when he looked at Kathryn. The look was tender and filled with love. 

“Oh ma capiaine, I wasn’t eavesdropping if that’s what you were thinking. No, I was just leaving this galaxy when I picked up, quite by accident I must add, the conversation you were having,” he said, stroking a finger along her cheek. It sent tingles shooting down her spine.

Chakotay coughed as he stepped towards their intimae scene. 

“Of course, but that doesn’t explain why you’re here,” he sneered at Q. 

“He’s right Q, why are you here?” she asked, giving a pointed look at Chakotay.

“I felt the need to intervene on this little scene. You see Chuckles, there is no way I’m letting you hurt Kathy he way you are,” Q stated as he turned to face the man. 

“I’m not the one who is hurting her Q. You are,” Chakotay cried angrily.

“Are you sure about that, Chuckles? Because it seems to me that I’m actually making her happy when you seem to be doing nothing but bringing her down,” Q rebutted.

“What are you talking about? Everything was fine before you showed up,” Chakotay yelled.

“For you maybe,” Q spat, “You have no idea how Kathy’s been feeling.”

“Gentlemen,” Kathryn interrupted, “Could you desist fighting for just one moment.”

Both men silenced as they looked towards her. 

“Chakotay, it doesn’t matter what my reasons are but I am giving Q a chance. Q, don’t let it go to your head. I want to outline a few things. First, Chakotay, you have no right to say what I can and can’t do in my personal life. Second, Q, you may not distract my crew in any way or get in the way of the running of Voyager. Third, I don’t want you two fighting anywhere on my ship. Do you understand?” she explained with the warning clear in her voice. 

Both men made an affirmative sounding noise. Chakotay began moving towards the door when Kathryn called out, “don’t tell anyone of what transpired in here, Commander, or it will mean trouble for you.”

“Understood, Captain,” he said sombrely. 

As the door wooshed behind him, Kathryn laid her cheek on the palm of her hand as she exhaled in relief. While it didn’t go as well as I could have, it certainly could have been worse. She felt Q put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She gently leaned back into his warm body, gathering relief and reassurance from his warmth. They stayed like that for who knows how long. Finally, Kathryn sat up straight and shrugged Q’s hand away. 

“You did well, Kathy,” Q complimented. 

“Thank you, Q,” she sighed, “but I can’t help but feel that it created more problems than it fixed. “

“For what it’s worth, which is quite a lot considering, I think you couldn’t have handled that any better,” Q soothed.

“Mmm,” she hummed, standing up and moving for the couch. Q followed her, sitting near enough for her to feel his body heat. It was comforting, knowing that out in this god forsaken quadrant of space, at least one person was looking out for her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and let out another sigh as she closed her eyes. He gently placed his arm around her, hugging her to his body.

“Thank you, my dearest Kathryn,” Q whispered into her hair.

“For what?” she lazily asked.

“For making me the happiest Q in the Continuum,” he replied.

Kathryn smiled at this comment, knowing she could easily break his heart after his chance, but also knowing that she probably wouldn’t. Before she would have been completely opposed to the idea of dating Q but after seeing how much he cared for her she had begun to rethink it. He was surprisingly thoughtful and could be incredibly sweet when he wanted to be. She snuggled further into his embrace as she thought of all the problems that may arise by dating a Q. In the end though, the good outweighed the bad and any problems they may come across can be dealt with then. Not now. Now she would just enjoy the time to be with a person she was undeniably attracted to. Eventually she pulled herself away from Q and sat up.

“Why must so many complicated things happen so early? I mean, it’s not even ten o’clock yet,” she grumbled.

Q laughed beside her, pulling her into another hug. 

“Oh, Kathy, I thought this was your job. Dealing with the hard and complicated stuff,” Q chuckled.

“It is but must it be so damn early in the morning?” she complained good-naturedly.

She smiled as she looked into his eyes, seeing them sparkling with glee.

“What I’d really like to know though, is what you intend to do with this chance I’ve given you?” she asked.

“Oh but Kathy, that would ruin the surprise,” Q beamed.

“I suppose you’re right,” she resigned standing from the couch. “But now I think I should finally get some work done.” 

“Oh Kathy, that is so dull.” Q whined.

“Ah but Q, you said it yourself. As captain it is my job to make the hard and complicated decisions and now that is what I must do. So if you could…” she hinted.

“Of course, ma capitaine. You only had to ask,” Q said, getting ready to snap his fingers. 

Before he could, Kathryn rose onto her toes and pressed a quick kiss tenderly to his lips. Q smiled as she broke off the kiss and with a snap of his fingers, he was gone in a flash. Kathryn sat back in her chair, picked up the closest PADD and began to read.


	4. Chapter 4

A week after Q’s fatefully visit and the subsequent fight with Chakotay, Kathryn woke up in a good mood. She went through her morning routine, thinking of the reports she had to read today. That put a damper on her mood but the smell of freshly ground coffee wafting through her quarters soon fixed that. As she exited her bathroom, she saw the cup the delicious smell was originating from sitting on her desk. She smiled as she picked it up, allowing her senses to be assaulted by the sacred concoction. The first sip is like heaven, sending pleasure throughout her body. 

“Thank you Q,” she whispered as she left her quarters to report for duty on the bridge. 

The turbo lift ride was short and before she knew it, she was sitting in her command chair. While most of the crew acknowledged her, Chakotay continued to read the PADD in her hand, completely ignoring her. He had been like this all week. Where he would normally have talked to her at all times of the day, he now only talked to her when it was absolutely necessary. Whenever he looked at her it was a mixture of hurt, condensation, anger and disappointment. She knew she had hurt him and she could understand the anger but he was acting like a spoiled child who hadn’t gotten his way. 

Kathryn turned her attention from Chakotay to the screen between them. It looks like they were in a part of space that held nothing interesting or worth noting. She sighed as she stood, knowing she couldn’t put off the reports forever.

“Commander, you have the bridge,” she stated as she walked towards her ready room. 

Just as she knew they would be, the pile of PADDs were waiting for her. What she saw resting on top of them made her stop and smile. A rose delicately rested atop the PADDs, filling the room with its sweet aroma. She sat down in her chair, picking it up and bringing it to her nose. She placed it to one side as she looked back towards the reports. She sighed as she picked up the first one. She had only gotten as far as the title and already she was bored. She began to read, immersing herself in nebulas, unclassified stars and unexplored planets.

The smell of food awoke her from her deep concentration. She looked up and towards her coffee table to find a plate of what looked like salad sitting there, waiting for her. She smiled. Everyday Q had been making sure she ate a full and healthy lunch, rather than the cup of coffee she would usually consume. Each night he would leave reminders for her to go down to the mess hall and have dinner. It was nice he was making sure she was keeping herself healthy. She stood up and stretched her muscles out before going to see what Q had left for her today. Upon closer inspection, she decided it was most definitely a Caesar salad. 

“Computer, what is the time?” she called.

“The time is 1300 hours,” the computer responded.

She had been working for five hours straight. She decided she deserved a break and sat down to enjoy the salad Q had left for her. As she ate she thought of all the nice things Q had done for her during the past week; Leaving flowers for her, giving her good meals and coffee and most of all, giving her his comforting presence. She never thought she would say it but having Q’s presence around the ship relaxed her. She was always slightly more tense than usual if she could not feel him watching her. The same could not be said for Chakotay. Every time he looked her she immediately tensed up. She knew it was irrational but she kept thinking he would begin an argument with her again, although, lately he had been going for a different tactic. Whenever she saw him, he was always with Seven. Usually flaunting their relationship. Standing close together, eating together in the mess hall, constantly touching. It did not matter what they were doing but it was always too intimate for anyone to feel comfortable spending time with them. Even though she knew what he was doing it didn’t make the pain in her chest lessen. What pained Kathryn the most though, was losing two of her good friends. Not only had she lost Chakotay but his new found relationship with Seven made her withdraw herself from Seven’s life. With one last resounding sigh, she heaved herself off the couch and sat down to finish reading the reports. Trouble was, she could not stop thinking of Q and Chakotay. Everything that had happened in the last few weeks were whirling around her head, forcing her attention away from her work. She sighed, pushing the PADD away and allowing herself to be consumed by her thoughts. Eventually she called it quits and stood, walking out the door and onto the bridge. She saw Chakotay disappearing behind the doors of the turbo lift. He was being so childish about all this. Normally he would ask about her plans for the evening or say goodbye at the least. She sighs as she takes the next turbo lift, thankfully alone. What she really needs is a nice, hot, relaxing bath. The thought lodges itself in her head as she walks across the threshold of her quarters. 

She stopped short at the sight she was met with. The lights were dim, candles littered every surface possible and red silk was draped everywhere. A small table was set up in the middle of the room appearing to be with the intent of eating. A flash enveloped her, revealing the person behind this little set up. 

“You look beautiful, Kathy,” Q whispered in her ear. 

She looked down at her body. Q had taken the liberty of changing her clothing. She was now dressed in a beautiful blue dress that floated over her body hugging her curves in just the right way, ending just above her knees. It felt as if it was made of the softest silk in the universe and tailored only for her body. She moved her gaze to Q’s eyes. The look he was giving her was beyond words. It expressed love and desire and so much more. She turned before the feelings he was evoking overwhelmed her. 

“Come, Kathy. Let’s eat,” Q suggested as he guided her over to the table. He pulled out her chair and filled her glass with red wine. As she took a sip, Q served their dinner. From the smell of it, she knew it was roast lamb, marinated in some foreign sauce. 

“A toast,” Q proposed, raising his glass towards her, “to us.”

Kathryn smiled as she clinked her glass against his and took a sip. It was one of the best wines she’d had in her life. Q seemed to be really going all out for her. She couldn’t help the thought that maybe it would all be for nothing from crossing her mind. She chuckled at the face Q would make if this relationship went nowhere. 

“What’s so funny, Kathy?” Q asked, glancing at her over the rim of his glass.

“Nothing, Q. Nothing,” she reassured, picking up her cutlery to begin eating.

“How have you been, Kathy?” he asked, trying to begin a conversation.

Kathryn thought for a moment. How had she been? Sure, Chakotay was annoying her and ignoring her which made her feel sad but Q was doing an amazing job of making up for it. Even through all the problems she could honestly say she was completely happy. 

“I’ve been good, Q. Happier than I thought I would be under the circumstances,” she replied.

“And what circumstances would those be?” he questioned, trying to sound nonchalant but not doing a very good job of it.

“Having an omnipotent being chasing for my affection,” she smiled, teasing him.

“Be serious for a second, Kathryn,” he sighed.

“Serious? You? Really?” she asked, surprised. She sighed at his expression and answered. “Being stuck in the Delta Quadrant with no hope of getting home is trying. Chakotay isn’t helping either.”

Q growled, looking incredibly mad. Kathryn knew if she didn’t do something now he would go strangle Chakotay.

“And you, Q, how have you been?” she asked hurriedly. 

“I’m good, Kathy. After all, I’ve been pleasing the most beautiful being in this and every other universe,” he beamed, the anger from his anger from his face disappearing instantaneously. 

“That’s wonderful Q,” she smiled. “And how’s your son getting on?”

“Junior is progressing wonderfully. I soon expect him to excel beyond anything I could teach him. Soon he shall be shown the universe, allowed to travel anywhere and everywhere,” he proudly stated.

Kathryn grinned at the pride Q was showing. She didn’t think he could look any more like a father than he did at this moment. He glanced up, grinning at her smile. She took a bite of the meal in front of her, wondering how exactly Q knew how to cook the most delicious meals known to man. 

“How is it?” he asked anxiously. 

“Q, this is amazing. I don’t think I’ve eaten anything as good as this in my life,” she gushed.

“Gives me something to work on then,” he teased. 

She chuckled as she continued to eat. Q was watching her intently, a small, absentminded smile playing around his lips. She could only imagine what was going through the omnipotent being’s mind. While she ate she thought of her crew. They had recently hit an empty patch of space. Not empty like the void. No, there were stars passing outside the window but so far they hadn’t met with any travellers or planets. The crew were bored. She could tell. With nothing more interesting than ship maintenance to keep them busy, the crew were getting restless. She noticed that the gossip mill had started up again. Every time she walked into a room it would suddenly become silent and people would try not to catch her eye. The talking would start up again, regardless of whether she was close enough to hear or not, if Chakotay walked into the room while she was in it. She knew the crew had been speculating about them ever since New Earth but this was going to a whole new level. The crew was treating her differently too. As if she had done something to offend them. Maybe Chakotay had let slip about Q. But she did not think that would cause this kind of a reaction. 

“A beautiful woman shouldn’t have to think so hard. It is really unbecoming,” Q remarked, breaking into her thoughts. 

“As a captain, it is my job to think hard,” she retorted, looking up.

“What’s wrong, ma capitaine?” he asked.

“The crew. They’re bored, Q. With nothing to do they’ve turned to gossip and it seems to revolve around Chakotay and me. They’ve noticed we’ve fought. I think they’ve made some conclusion about it and in turn they’re treating me differently. They’re acting as if I’ve offended them,” she mumbled, looking into her lap. She knew this was not how she should be acting but it was hurting her that the crew was angry with her, even though she would never show it.

“Oh, Kathy,” he said, taking her hand.

He slowly stood up, gently pulling her with him. He directed her over to the couch and sat her down on his lap. He held her close, rubbing her back lovingly, placing a small kiss on her temple. She lay her head on his shoulder and allowed herself to feel the calm he was providing her. She pecked the exposed neck by her head as she snuggled further into his embrace. He gently nuzzled her hair, breathing in her scent. Q sure knew how to get her to relax. He also knew how to make her happy, a feeling she had seldom felt since being stranded out in this god forsaken quadrant of space. 

“Dessert, I think,” Q decided, breaking the calming silence. 

“Oh no, Q. You have some but I really shouldn’t,” she protested as she slid off his lap.

“Ma capitaine, you deserve to enjoy yourself once in a while. Please,” he whined, looking deep into her eyes. She could feel her resolve crumbling before her.

“Fine,” she sighed in admission. 

Q snapped his fingers and a large bowl of coffee ice cream appeared before her. She picked it up, hissing at the sudden change of temperature on her hands. Q chuckled beside her. She turned to glare at his, noticing he was holding a plate with a giant slab of chocolate mud cake balanced on top. She turned away, picking up the spoon leaning against the side of the bowl. She allowed the icy goodness to melt on her tongue, closing her eyes in delight. Q chuckled in delight at her facial expression. As she opened her eyes again he dug into his cake. Kathryn looked over, enviously eying his cake. Q scooped some onto his fork and held it out to her in offering. She smiled as she closed her lips over the fork. She slowly pulled her mouth along the prongs, pulling the cake into her mouth.

“Thanks, Q,” she smiled as she went back to her ice cream. 

Q couldn’t help but watch her eat. She would take a mouthful and then lick the spoon clean. He found himself becoming entranced by the way her small, pink tongue moved over the silver metal. Kathryn knew the effect she was having on Q and she could not help but tease him. As she continued her ministrations on the spoon Q growled low in his throat. He pushed his plate onto the coffee table and pulled Kathryn into his lap.

“Q,” she warned.

“I must have you Kathy,” he growled in want.

“The ice cream,” she stated, looking pointedly down into her hands.

Q lifted it from her hands and placed it onto the coffee table beside his cake. He then pulled Kathryn closer, allowing his breath to play over her face. She shivered in anticipation, knowing what was to come. He slowly descended on her lips, pulling her flush against his body. She moaned as his tongue asked for entrance into her mouth. Their tongues fought for dominance to the sound of their pleasure. Q gently pushed her back until she was lying on the couch, his body hovering over hers. He moved to her neck, nibbling at the exposed skin, eliciting gasps from her. All rational thought had flown out the window. Kathryn drew his mouth back to hers, pulling him in for a deep, sensual kiss. His hands were trailing up her body, moving over her stomach and towards her breasts. He once again kissed across to her neck, although this time he began nibbling on her ear lobe. He gently bit it, sending heat pooling between her legs. The lust was coursing through her body. She wanted him so badly. Suddenly, the terror set in. She could not believe just how much lust she felt towards this being. She pushed against his chest, forcing him to sit up.

“What’s wrong? Was I too rough?” Q asked, his breathing erratic. 

“No, Q, it’s not that. It’s just I’m not ready to take that step yet. I need to know this whole thing is going to work before I can go that far,” she reassured, hoping he wouldn’t leave. 

“It’s ok, ma capitaine. This whole thing can go as fast or slow as you want,” he said, now reassuring her. 

“Thank you,” she breathed, trying to get her breathing under control. 

Q gently placed his arm around her and drew her towards him again. She stiffened, thinking he was going to try to kiss her again. Instead he just held her. She soon relaxed into him, laying her head on his shoulder and breathing in his unique scent. He began to soothingly run his fingers through her hair, playing with the odd strand. 

“I do so enjoy holding you, Kathy,” Q stated dreamily. 

“I enjoy being held by you,” Kathryn replied, snuggling further into his embrace. 

Although she was comfortable in his arms she couldn’t help being hyper aware of him. The way his scent invaded her nose, how his body felt against her, the way his touch sent tingles shooting down her spine. She could feel the connection between them now. It was stronger than she had ever felt before and it kind of scared her. She was not sure it had ever felt this way with anyone and yet… Well, she could not deny that while it scared her, it also thrilled her. She felt as if this may be one of the few good things she would ever do in her life. And she didn’t want to give that away for anything. She listened to his voice, allowing it relax her muscles until she was comfortably curled around his warm body. They talk until well past midnight, getting to know each other as any couple would.

As the night draws to a close Kathryn sleepily said, “Q, I have an early morning tomorrow, or well, really this morning, and I’d like to get a few hours’ sleep.”

“Getting tired of me already, Kathy,” he joked. 

He did allow Kathryn to untangle herself from him and stand up though. He followed suit and stood before her, love burning through his gaze. 

“It was a wonderful night, Q. I really enjoyed it,” she whispered, looking into his eyes from beneath her lowered lashes. 

“Does this mean we can do this again?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes, it does,” she smiled at him.

“Oh ma capitaine,” he cried, picking her up and spinning her around. 

She laughed while crying out, “Put me down Q!”

He complied, drawing her closer to his body as he leaned down, pulling her face towards him. He placed his lips upon hers, pulling her flush against him. She kissed back with equal passion, dragging him closer. He gently broke off the kiss, caressing her cheek. She turned her head and placed a loving kiss on the palm of his hand. He looked deeply into her beautiful blue eyes as he released her.

“Goodnight, my most beautiful Kathryn,” he whispered and disappeared in a flash.

Kathryn smiled as she once again took a seat on her couch. She never thought Q could be so sweet and yet it did not surprise her when he was. This night had been perfect. She did not think he could have chosen anything better for his single chance. He seemed to know exactly what she would like and what she wanted. How could any man be so perfect? She sighed with contentment. Tonight had really opened her eyes and made her see Q in a whole new light. It seemed he was the thing missing from her life. She could no longer argue that she didn’t hold any feeling for the omnipotent being. Knowing her feelings opened something up inside of her. She was genuinely happy and she couldn’t think of any way she could be brought down from the high. Her smile brightened as she thought of her next date with Q. She was certain it could only get better. 

She yawned as decide it was time for her to sleep. After all, she wasn’t lying to Q when she said she had an early morning. She rose from the couch and crossed her living room. With care she gently unzipped the gorgeous dress Q had so thoughtfully given her. It really was one of the most beautiful pieces of clothing she had ever owned. She quickly pulled her nightgown over her head and settled into bed.

As she drifted off to sleep her mind wandered, showing her images of what a relationship with Q would be like. Each image was so nice and special in its own way that Kathryn could not wait to see if any of them would actually come true. She knew there was only one way to find out and she couldn’t wait to begin that adventure. 

She slipped into sleep easily, a content smile on her face. That night, her dreams were filled with an omnipotent being and his loving.


	5. Chapter 5

Kathryn sat in the mess hall, watching the people around her. She did not specifically want to be here but as the captain she was expected to put an appearance in at parties. She looked across the room to see Seven and Chakotay talking to the Doctor. The couple were giving off the sort of intimacy only lovers could. She noted that the Doctor looked envious. She could not blame him. Only months before, Kathryn was almost certain that the Doctor and Seven would become an item but then Chakotay and Seven happened. Well, she completely understood how the Doctor felt at any rate.

She was currently sitting at a table in the corner alone. She would have enjoyed some company but Tuvok was on the bridge, Neelix was serving people, Tom, B’Elanna and Harry were talking freely and Seven, Chakotay and the Doctor were out for obvious reasons. To be honest, she wasn’t really enjoying herself.

She wondered if it would be rude if she left now. The party seemed to have only just really begun but Kathryn just wanted to go back to her quarters, relax and see Q. It certainly couldn’t be as boring as this. Or maybe if Q was here…

A flash behind her brought her out of her revue and told her Q had arrived.

“I didn’t know it was appropriate for starship captains to brood in public,” he teased taking the seat beside her.

“Why are you here Q?” Kathryn asked in way of a reply.

“I was just floating through a most glorious solar system when I heard my name mentioned. Being the curious little Q I am, I had to come investigate. And I’m so glad I did,” he cried, throwing his arm around her shoulders.

“You are intolerable,” she teased, pushing his arm off her.

“How I love when you tolerate me,” he whispered suggestively into her ear.

“And how would you have me tolerate you?” she asked innocently looking into his eyes.

“I can think of a few ways,” he smiled, sliding his hand down to her waist.

Kathryn looked around the room, hoping no one had seen Q’s display. That was until she looked at Chakotay. He was glaring over in their direction, his eyes directly on Q’s hand. She noticed Seven was also glaring but at Chakotay instead of them. Kathryn turned away, to find Q watching her with an amused look on his face.

“I don’t think the Commander’s too happy with us,” he commented as his hand began to move to her hip.

“Maybe we should stop then,” Kathryn suggested, turning her head away from him.

“I’m sure we can figure something out. I happen to know the captain,” he flirted, rubbing his thumb across her hip.

“I don’t know, Q. If the Commander isn’t happy, maybe we shouldn’t…” she trailed off trying to hold in her giggles.

“I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement,” Q smiled, running his hand down her thigh.

At this Kathryn could no longer contain herself and the giggles came bursting from her lips. She turned to look at Q as he chuckled. It didn’t help with his ridiculous upper body dancing to the beat of the playing music.

“I’d be careful, Kathy. Young Harry Kim over there seems to be having a heart attack at his prim and proper Captain giggling like a school girl. I’m sure there’s a rule about that somewhere at Star Fleet,” he teased, his eyes twinkling with held in mirth. 

Eventually Kathryn quietened down as she looked around the room. Couple were dancing in a small part of the room provided for such a thing. She was sure Tom had something to do with it as he was dancing with B’Elanna so close it looked as though they were glued together. She rolled her eyes as she turned back towards Q top find him standing before her.

“Would you care to dance, ma capitaine?” he asked holding out his hand.

“I really shouldn’t Q,” she replied, hoping he’d leave it at that.

“Just one dance. That’s all I ask, then you can go back to brooding,” he teased pulling her up by the hands.

“I wasn’t brooding,” she petulantly said as he led her to the dance floor.

He slipped his arms around her waist and drew her close as she placed her arms around his neck. He gently nuzzled his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent. She allowed him to lead her in a simple dance in their one corner of the floor. She gently laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes to relax fully into him. She was glad she had said yes to him. She didn’t think she would have ever been able to relax so fully in front of someone below her command.

“Stop thinking so hard,” Q whispered in her ear.

“Why is it making it hard for you to hear the music?” she asked with a chuckle in her voice, moving her head to look in his eyes.

“Yes,” he replied simply.

Kathryn once again leaned her head on his shoulder and allowed herself to relax again. She blinked her eyes open to see Chakotay heading their way looking incredibly angry. She removed her head and fully watched him. When Q looked at her questionably, she nodded her head in Chakotay’s direction.

“May I cut in?” he asked as he reached them.

Q looked towards Kathryn, silently asking. She nodded in assent, allowing Chakotay to talk to her.

“You may, Commander,” he agreed politely, moving away from Kathryn and towards Seven and the Doctor to fill the space Chakotay had left.

Chakotay grabbed her around the waist and pulled her hand into his. She laid her hand on his shoulder as he began to roughly move them to the beat. She could not help note that he was nowhere as good at dancing as Q.

“Do you know what you’re doing, Kathryn?” he asked, pulling her along.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, forcing him to spell it out.

“With Q? Do you understand what you’ve gotten yourself into?” he asked, more insistently.

“I chose him, Chakotay. Of course I know what I’m doing. And even if I didn’t you wouldn’t have a say in it because it is my private life and I would like it to stay that way. Private,” she spat, not really caring if others heard at this point.

“I don’t trust him Kathryn. He’s never brought us any good. He brought you into the middle of his civil war for Christ sakes. He’s just playing with you until the next glittery thing distracts him. You should stay away from him. You shouldn’t give our heart away to a man like him. He’ll only break it,” he warned, pulling her closer.

“Are you saying I should choose a man like you, Chakotay? Because that’s what it sounds like. I don’t think you have any right to tell me who I can and can’t date. It’s not your priority anymore not that it was before either,” she pulled her hand from his.

She stormed away from him, leaving him to flounder on the dance floor alone, not hearing him follow her. When she was halfway across the floor to Q she felt someone grab her wrist and spin her round. She came face to face with an enraged Chakotay. Pain shot through her arm from the point he held her but she refused to let him have the satisfaction of seeing. He was so close to her that she could smell the alcohol from his breath. He certainly had not been drinking the synthehol and he certainly did not start at the party. She took a step back, pulling her arm from his grip just as Q reached them.

“What’s happening, Kathy?” he asked, slightly worried, as he put his arm around her waist.

She gently moved into his embrace, away from Chakotay. This move was not lost of Chakotay.

“You bastard. You think you can just appear on this ship and make Kathryn fall in love with you? Be honest, you just want to get in her pants,” he yelled at Q, turning every head in the mess hall towards them. “How can you think I’m so fucking stupid that I wouldn’t understand what you’re trying to do? Well, you’re the stupid one. I see exactly what you’re doing. It won’t work. Get off this ship and never return.”

Kathryn placed his hand on his chest trying to push him away from Q. Seven tried helping her by pulling on his arm to try to make him leave.

“Commander, think we should depart now,” Seven tried to say.

“I tend to agree with Seven, Chakotay. I think it’s time that you left,” Kathryn suggested in a commanding voice.

Chakotay grabbed Kathryn’s arm and pushed her to the side as he shook his arm free from Seven’s grip. Kathryn fell to the floor, letting out a surprised gasp. Q turned towards her, stretching his arm out to help her up. Just as Kathryn reached to take his hand, Chakotay threw his fist towards Q’s head, hoping to take him out with one blow. Unfortunately for him, it missed, but barely. Q turned, the air from the missed punch alerting him something was wrong. He fixed his steely glare on Chakotay, daring him to try something.

“You fucking bastard. You don’t deserve a woman like Kathryn. You should leave now while her heart isn’t in too deep. It’s not like you really care anyway,” Chakotay shouted in his face.

Although Q was enraged by Chakotay’s last comment he knew he was just trying to get a rise out of him. Oh, how he’d like to give in but for Kathryn’s sake he wouldn’t allow himself the pleasure.

“Commander, I think you should calm down. You’re not accomplishing anything by this spectacle. It would be best if you left,” Q said, trying to calm him down.

“Wouldn’t that just make your day? You could be out of her and in her bed within 10 minutes if I did. Like I’m going to give you that pleasure,” Chakotay spat.

“I really think it would be best if you left now, Chakotay,” Q tried suggesting.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you? You’ll corrupt her heart as well as her head and then you’ll take over the ship. You’ll have you way with her and then leave her with no thought of her feelings. I can’t let you do that,” Chakotay yelled, once again throwing a punch at Q.

Q dodged sideways, avoiding Chakotay’s fist. As he moved, he threw a punch of his own. Unfortunately for Chakotay, he was not as fast as Q and was hit in the side of his stomach, forcing him to move a step back. He straightened up and aimed another punch for Q but before he could swing Q grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back creating a sharp pain in his bicep. He kicked back, making contact with Q’s knee allowing him to pull his arm free from Q’s slackened grip. He spun around to face his opponent again. He pushed his arm with all his force into Q’s stomach, making him double over, gasping for breath. Chakotay took his advantage and slammed his and into Q’s back. Q fell to his knees, trying to regain his breath. Before Chakotay could hit him with the next blow, he forced himself to rise into a standing position. He was still trying to force air into his lungs but he kicked out, catching Chakotay in the stomach, turning the tables so it was now Chakotay winded and bending over. He moved around him and kicked him in the ass, sending him sprawling to the ground. Chakotay hooked his leg through Q’s, pulling him to the ground as he rolled over. Q gasped, not expecting the attack. He climbed to his knees as Chakotay’s fist came out of nowhere, hitting him square in the jaw. As his head flew back Chakotay jabbed his neck. A gurgle came from Q’s throat. Chakotay climbed to his feet as he prepared his final blow.

Kathryn moved in front of him, pushing on her chest with all her strength, trying to move him away from Q.

“Commander, back away from him. That’s an order,” she commanded.

All it accomplished was Chakotay pushing her to the side as he advanced on Q. Kathryn’s distraction had given Q enough time to recover from the attack and stand. He was facing Chakotay, calculating his next move. Chakotay moved first, swinging his arm towards Q’s neck. Q blocked it with his arm as he dodged it. He came from underneath Chakotay and pushed him into the closest table. The table broke beneath his weight and he was sent crashing to the floor. Q hauled him up and punched him in the nose with a sickening crunch.

Q felt a pair of arms encircle him from behind and pull him away. Just as Chakotay was about to jump on top of him a security officer caught him around the waist, hauling him backwards. He continued to struggle, so much that two more security officers had to hold him. Q allowed himself to be dragged back peacefully. He could see that the fight had escalated beyond control and needed to be stopped. He only wished Chakotay could see that as well.

Q turns his head towards Kathryn, worried about what he’d see. He was right to be worried. Her whole countenance screamed angry. Her eyes flashed dangerously in his direction. He could see the anger but beneath that he could see the hurt and disappointment. In that moment he knew all his hard work was tumbling down around him and there was nothing he could do about it. A look of pure distress washed over his face as the realisation hit him.

“Take them to the brig,” Kathryn commanded to the security officers.

They were pushed out of the mess hall as Kathryn strode after them. The turbo lift ride was a silent one. Kathryn refused to look at anyone, Chakotay was busy nursing his broken nose and Q was trying to catch Kathryn’s eye. As the doors opened, both men were pushed forward. Chakotay tripped over his own feet, gasping out in pain as his hands were forced into his nose. As they were forced into a cell Q couldn’t help but smile as Chakotay tripped again, eliciting another gasp of pain.

“Thank you gentlemen. If you could wait outside while I deal with this,” Kathryn asked while she stepped into the cell.

She waited for the doors to whoosh behind the security team before she began.

“I’m incredibly disappointed in both of you. Chakotay, as a Starfleet officer you should not show up to social events drunk and you shouldn’t engage a guest on this ship in a physical fight. Q, you shouldn’t have encouraged him. I’m disappointed that you would allow yourselves to get so carried away as to inflict physical damage to each other. My anger shouldn’t even need to be voiced. You have broken many rules on this ship Commander and Q, you’ve broken my trust,” Kathryn said, the hurt and the anger obvious in her words.

“Kathryn, I’m so sorry,” Q tried to apologize.

“No Q, I don’t think you are. You don’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation,” she snapped, “I don’t think this is going to work anymore Q. You’ve had your chance and it hasn’t gone the way you planned. It’s over Q. we can no longer see each other. Please leave and never return to my ship or there will be trouble.”

Chakotay allows a small smile to pass his lips. Kathryn turned his direction, a frown replacing her hurt look.

“Don’t think you’ve gotten out of this scot free, Commander. You are hereby restricted to your quarters. You shall spend a week in isolation, absolutely no visitors. If I believe you are fit for duty, I’ll reinstate you to the bridge,” she stated.

Kathryn turned on her heels and walked out of the cell and out the door. A few moments later the security officers entered and took up their stations around the room.

Q looked dejected down towards his feet, the despair and hurt coursing through him. He heard a chuckle from Chakotay. He turned his head, trying to figure out why he was so happy. From what he could see, he was in the dog house and had been thoroughly shamed.

“What are you so happy about? The Captain appears to be sufficiently angry at you,” Q asked, with a sneer on his face.

“I got what I wanted. She has seen that you will only break her heart and she has made the right decision. She never wants to see you again and I fully agree with her. You’re nothing but bad news and I’m glad I’ll never have to see your mug again,” Chakotay smirked.

The doors whooshed open, alerting them to a new spectator to their discussion. They both turned to see who had interrupted them mid argument. Tuvok was watching them both, calculating what may happen.

“I think I’ve outstayed my welcome,” Q announced, “I shall be going now.”

He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash.

“Commander, you’ll be escorted to your quarters now,” Tuvok stated, moving to grab hold of his arm.

“You don’t have to worry, Tuvok. I won’t try an elaborate escape mission. I can walk there myself just fine,” Chakotay said, stepping out of the cell and avoiding Tuvok’s hand.

“The Captain asked me to escort you and I shall obey her command,” Tuvok insisted, allowing him to walk without his grasp.

They both walked out of the door, followed by the three security officers. The close of the door signalled the end of two relationships.


	6. Chapter 6

A week and a half later, Kathryn was found holed up in her ready room, going through report after report. She was tired but knew if she did not get through them today, she never would. She rubbed her temple, pulling the top PADD towards her, groaning when she read the title. It had been a trying few days. Q had been leaving his presence around the ship and she could only assume it was how he was apologizing. She was studiously ignoring everything he tried, going about her daily business as if he had never existed. 

The things he was doing were all sweet; Lovely meals, flowers and as always, coffee. These gestures were thoughtful and always made Kathryn remember how much she missed him. She knew if she was not so angry with the stunt he pulled she would have forgiven him days ago. What he did was stupid and reckless. His actions were against what she believed in and he knew that. She was hurt by his complete disregard for her feelings when engaging in the fight. She was just too angry to allow herself to forgive him. 

A bright flash in her peripheral vision brought her attention to the fresh cup of coffee that appeared on her desk. She purposely ignored it. The smell of fresh coffee wafted around her room, drawing her longing for a cup to the surface. Absentmindedly, she reached for the cup. Before she allowed the liquid to pass her lips, she came back to herself and put the cup the furthest point away from her. She quickly picked up the report she just put down and began work again. Before long the coffee cup was replaced. 

Hours and many reports later, Kathryn decided she should grab some dinner. She could not stand the idea of returning to her empty quarters and thought the mess hall was the best plan of action. She rose from her chair and exited her ready room. She watched as Chakotay and Seven caught the turbo lift, completely ignoring the rest of the bridge crew. Kathryn had noticed that since being released from his quarters, Chakotay had been spending all his time with Seven. He no longer made so much as eye contact with her anymore, let alone talk to her. The few words he had said to her were curt and only about ship business. 

Kathryn stepped into the turbo lift as Tuvok stepped over the threshold. 

“Captain,” he acknowledged, nodding his head. 

“Tuvok,” she greeted with a smile. She realised that he had not been spending a lot of time with Tuvok since this whole fiasco began. She’d quite like to catch up with him.

“Are you free for dinner, Tuvok?” she asked, glancing sideways at him.

“I am, Captain,” he replied.

“Would you care to join me in the mess hall then?” she enquired.

“I would,” he responded. 

Kathryn smiled, turning back towards the doors. They slid open and they both stepped out at once. They continued into the mess hall where they grabbed a tray of whatever it was Neelix had made that evening. The sat down in Tuvok’s usual seat in the corner by the window. Kathryn began to prod at the substance on her plate with her fork, trying to figure out what it was. Deciding it probably would not kill her she took a bite. It wasn’t too bad but it wasn’t all that good either. 

“We haven’t talked much recently. How are you, Tuvok?” she asked through a mouthful of food.

“I am well, Captain. How, may I ask, are you?” he responded, watching her eat.

“I’m good, Tuvok. Well, within parameters but I don’t think much more can be expected at this time,” she answered almost to herself. 

“Captain, if I may, you appear to be experiencing grief and anger. I can only surmise that this came from the encounter between Commander Chakotay and Q last week,” He observed.

“Yes, I suppose I am,” she murmured, knowing it would be fruitless to try to lie to Tuvok, 

“Allowing Q into your private life may have been a lapse in judgement. It is better that he has left,” Kathryn let out a breath.

“Could we discuss something else” she asked, not wanting to delve into her feelings or personal life.

“Of course, Captain. Seven informed me there has been a 0.2 drop in the crew’s efficiency,”

“Did she suggest a way of fixing this slip?” She gave him a smile.

“I believe I suggesting cutting Mr Paris’s holo program out of the data basis,” Tuvok deadpanned.

Kathryn let out a chuckle, thinking about the faces of the crew. 

“I think you may be onto something there, Tuvok,” she smiled, still chuckling. 

They ate the rest of their meal in a companionable silence. When both plates were clean the two officers stood. 

“Good evening, Tuvok. Enjoy the rest of your evening,” Kathryn said a smile in her voice.

“You too, Captain,” he replied, turning to walk in the opposite direction.

Kathryn caught the turbo lift, thinking of her empty quarters. She sighed, thinking of Q, wishing that he would be waiting there for her but knowing he wouldn’t. She stepped off the turbo lift planning a quite night, maybe a nice long bath. She walked past a few crewmembers that appeared to be going out for the night walking in the opposite direction. She sighed once again as she crossed the threshold of her quarters. The emptiness of the place just brought her spirits even further down. She walked towards the replicator, desperate for a cup of coffee. She saw the flash in her peripheral vision indicating the appearance of Q. She spun around, knowing this would be a trying night. 

“Kathy,” he whispered, reaching up to stroke her cheek but stopping with the glare he received. 

“I told you to leave,” she seethes. 

“I know but-“Kathryn cut him off.

“No, when I said leave I meant it,” she spat, “Now would you kindly leave.” 

“Kathy, could you just listen to me. I’m only asking for a minute of your time. I’ll leave after that,” he stepped towards her.

“I’ll call security if you don’t leave immediately, Q,” she threatened. 

“I tried to stop him. What could I have done?” he asked hopelessly.

“Walked away. I knew I shouldn’t have given that chance. I knew it would end badly. I can’t trust you Q. You willingly involved yourself in a fight with one of my crewmembers. I can’t put up with that,” she explained. 

“He could have hurt you Kathryn. He threw you to the floor. And what was I meant to do? He was desperate for a fight. He would have followed me if I’d left,” he almost shouted.

“Security would have taken care of him. There was no need for you to throw yourself into a fight,” she barked, turning away from him.

“I didn’t throw myself into it. I wasn’t a willing participant. I was defending myself. He can really throw a punch.” Q argued. 

“You could have just disappeared. You are omnipotent after all. You seem to appear easily enough why can’t you leave just as easily?” she sneered.

“I didn’t know if he would hurt you if I left. Please Kathy. I thought I was doing the best thing for all involved. I didn’t think it would end so horribly. Please Kathy, you have to believe me. I never wanted it to end badly.”

“How did you think it would end, Q?” Kathryn shouted at him, her anger rising. “You physically assaulted one of my officers. Of course it was going to end badly. How else could it end?” 

She took a sip from her sup, hoping it would quell her anger. She groaned as the liquid passed her lips. Of course he would replace her normal coffee with his own blend. She pushed past Q, shoving the offending cup into his hands. 

“Just for once can you not interfere with my life?” she demanded. 

“I’m sorry, Kathy, but you seemed to so enjoy it last time I gave it to you. I thought you would appreciate the thought. I guess I was wrong,” he mumbled, looking down into the rejected cup. 

“It was a lovely gesture, Q, but I told you to leave and not come back. You disobeyed my wishes. You involved yourself in a fight with my first officer and now you want me to just forgive you in a heartbeat. A cup of coffee won’t do that, Q. I’m not sure anything can,” she informed him.

“I’m sorry, Kathy.” he agonized. “I don’t know how to show you just how much I wish I hadn’t involved myself in that stupid fight. I swear it will never happen again. Please, just give me one more chance. Just one more. It’s all I’ll ever ask of you,”

“I’m sorry, Q. I can’t trust you after this. Now leave. Your minute’s up,” she turned towards the viewport. 

She felt a pair of warm arms encircling her from behind. She remembered that used to feel nice. Now she could only think of the pain they could inflict on another being. She turned, placing her hands on his chest. She pushed until he let go of her. 

“Leave, Q. there’s nothing more for you here. Just leave and don’t come back,” she demanded once again.

He turned his eyes towards her, a pleading look on his face. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears, threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. She didn’t like hurting him so much but she had no choice. She crossed her arms and stared impassively at him. Q sighed, knowing his was a lost cause. There was nothing he could do tonight.

“Goodnight, Kathy. Pleasant dreams,” he wished before disappearing in a flash before her eyes.

Kathryn moved from the viewport into her bedroom. She knew it was unlikely she would get much sleep tonight. Q had left her with a lot to think about; Mainly ways to curse him. She still couldn’t believe he would involve himself in such a fight. She lay down in her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of all the joy she would miss out on.


	7. Chapter 7

Tom sat at the helm, lost in thought. He wasn’t as obtuse as he made out to be and he was sure most of the crew knew it. Even if he was, he would have noticed how the Captain was ignoring all of Q’s attempts to gain her forgiveness. He’d been watching her over the past week. Every time there was a flash anywhere in the vicinity of her she would turn her head in the other direction and refuse to acknowledge the existence of whatever Q had left her. Her whole countenance had changed. Where she used to be happy and vibrant, now she was sad and alone. She seemed to have buried herself in work, staying in her ready room late into the night. Tom wanted her to be happy again, not just because it made her a better Captain but because he considered her a friend and cared for her as such. He just didn’t know how to approach her about it. Tom turned to glance at her, catching the eye of Harry as he did so. They exchanged a worried look before both returning to work. 

At the end of Tom’s shift he decided to talk to Harry before they both left. He knew they should do something for the Captain and decided to consult Harry. He thought maybe they could invite her to dine with them tonight but thought a second opinion would be good. 

“Hey Harry,” he greeted, reaching his station. 

“Hi, ready to grab a bite to eat?” Harry asked stepping down from his station.

“I was thinking, maybe we could invite the Captain to join us. She looks like she could use some fun,” Tom suggested, glancing quickly over his shoulder at her. 

“Sure, why don’t you ask her?” Harry said, glancing at her as well.

Harry hovered by the turbo lift while Tom moved over to the Captain.

“Captain?” Tom ventured hoping to gain her attention. 

“Yes lieutenant?” she responding, looking up at him.

“Harry and I were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner,” Tom asked hopefully. 

Kathryn gave a small smile as she responded affirmatively. She stood up and followed both men into the turbo lift. It was a quite ride down, neither man really sure what to say to her and she happy to stay quiet. The exited the turbo lift and she followed them over to a table that B’Elanna was already situated. They took their seats, Tom next to B’Elanna with the Captain opposite him. 

Tom prodded the food before him asking, “What do you reckon it is?”

Harry chuckles as he takes a bite.

“Not too bad,” he exclaims, smiling.

Tom notices the Captain is just pushing her food around the plate with her fork. She will occasionally take a bite but seems to be lost in thought. He notices Harry and B’Elanna glancing at her. From the look in their eyes he can tell their thinking the same thing. No matter the brave face their Captain put on she had been unforgivably hurt and was now being pulled in by the dark tendrils of depression. He saw the pointed glare B’Elanna gave him.

“I was talking to Megan Delany the other day,” Tom began cheerily, hoping to disperse the black cloud that had settled over their table. 

B’Elanna latched on asking him to continue. Before long Harry and B’Elanna were in stiches by the latest hilarious story of Tom’s. Tom saw the Captain giving a half-hearted smile, pushing her food further around her plate. 

“Thank you for inviting me, Tom,” she said, pushing her chair back as she stood up. 

She gave him a small smile as she picked up her plate and walked away. As the door closed behind her B’Elanna asked, “Tell me I wasn’t the only one who saw that?”

“Yeah,” Tom replied, “I think she’s really torn up inside.”

“Why must all men be bastards?” she asked rhetorically. 

“Hey,” Tom exclaimed, offended. 

“I think someone should’ve talked to Chakotay before all this happened,” she commented.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, confused. 

“Well, Chakotay seemed to think he could sleep with Seven and openly flaunt their relationship and still expect Janeway to be waiting for him,” she explained.

“What are you talking about, B’Elanna?” asked Tom, thinking she was crazy.

“You obviously never saw it but as a woman I did. Chakotay would look at Janeway possessively even when he was with Seven. He would do things that were above and beyond call for her but always keeping her at arms distance. He knew she would be willing if he just asked but he never did. He kept her hanging, thinking he would ask one day. By the time he began seeing Seven she was so far gone she would’ve waited her whole life for him if Q hadn’t shown up,” she explained, laughing at their dumbstruck expressions. 

“So, what, Chakotay hates Q for stealing his woman while Q was just showing Janeway the truth?” Tom asked, still slightly confused.

“Exactly. That fight was just a build-up of his fear and hate for Q and it worked out in his favour. Only when Q disappeared, Janeway didn’t go running back to him but instead mourned for her loss of Q. It didn’t help anyone and now he’s in the dog house and Janeway is unhappy and won’t forgive him. He’s just dug himself into a deep hole,” she stated, taking a bite of her food. 

“Should we be talking like this?” Harry asked, looking worried, “After all, they are still our superior officers.”

“Harry, this has been the talk of the ship since the fight. I think we can talk about it,” Tom reassured.

“Fine but tell me this B’Elanna, since you seem to know so much about this, why is the Captain so depressed?” Harry asked, huffing as he crossed his arms. 

“Oh, easy. Not only is she missing Q, no matter how much she will deny it but she is also disappointed and angry at him. He got into a fight with a member of her crew and didn’t seem to be all that sorry about it,” B’Elanna replied, smugly. 

“He deserved it,” Tom muttered. 

“That may be so but we still have to respect him,” Harry interjected.

“After what he did to Janeway? Yeah right. He’s not getting any respect from me,” Tom declared.

“Tom, don’t say that so loud. Do you want to be in the same situation as the Commander was?” Harry asked, trying to quieten Tom down. 

“I wouldn’t mind a few rounds with him; maybe knock some sense into his head. It certainly wouldn’t harm to try,” Tom suggested, an evil smirk spreading over his face.

“No, Tom. If anyone’s going to have a go at him it’ll be Q. After all, he came off worst in all this,” B’Elanna tried calming her boyfriend down. 

“How can you be so calm about all this?” Tom asked, glaring at her. 

“Honestly, I don’t particularly care. Sure I’m mad at Chakotay for being an idiot and hurting Janeway but she got herself into this mess. Just because I understand it doesn’t mean I care,” she explained as if to small, uncomprehensive children. 

“Hmmm,” Tom hummed in understanding. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have shift in which I need to run a diagnostic on the warp core,” B’Elanna stated as she stood from the table. 

Both men watched as she walked away, lost deep in their own thoughts. From the look of concentration, Tom knew Harry was thinking about work. 

“Come on, Buddy, enough work for one day,” Tom exclaimed, standing up, pulling Harry along with him. 

He dragged Harry out the door as Harry protested. He continued to drag him through the hallways and towards Harry’s quarters. They stopped before his door, Tom waiting expectantly. Harry reluctantly punched in his access code, allowing the doors to open before them. They both walked through the doorway, making their way to the couch. 

“What do you think of the Captain’s current situation?” Tom asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I… I guess I’m angry that Chakotay kind of forced her into depression but I’m also angry at Q for putting her in that position in first place. I just want her to be happy, you know?” Harry, finished, looking down at his lap in embarrassment. 

“Yeah, I know how you feel. Now if only we could teach the bastard a lesson,” Tom contemplated. 

A flash brought both their attentions to the corner of the room. Both men stood at the sudden appearance of Q. 

“You have got to help me win back Kathy,” he begged, moving towards them.

“Why would we do such a thing? It’s your fault she’s so sad,” Tom asked, angered at the request. 

“Please. I know I’ve caused her pain but she is the only woman I could and do love. I love her with my whole heart and now she just ignores me. Please, I’m begging. Help me,” Q pleaded, stretching his arms before him in a plea for help. 

“I don’t see why we should. How do we know you won’t just break her heart again,” Harry asked, stepping towards him.

“Because I will do everything in my power to make sure she is happy for the rest of her life,” he professed.

Tom, seeing his sincerity, felt his resolve begin to crumble. He sat down on the couch, closing his eyes so he could think. He was going through all the pros and cons of helping Q. The one thought running through his head was ‘what if he hurts her again?’ He stood up and pulled Harry with him to a part of the room away from Q. 

“You can’t actually be thinking of helping him?” Harry hissed, disbelievingly, his eyes asking him if he had lost all his sanity.

“Think about it, Harry. He could make her happy again,” Tom reasoned.

“Or he could just hurt her even further,” Harry argued.

“Are we willing to risk her continued loneliness when we have someone right here who wants to love her and make her happy for the rest of her life? Is that something you really want to risk because that could end up hurting her more than Q could?” Tom asked, knowing that would break Harry’s resolve. 

Tom could see the barriers being knocked down in Harry’s mind as he thought about what Tom had said. The look of defeat was all the answer he needed to know as he turned back to Q’s expectant figure. 

“We’ll help but only if you promise to never hurt her again,” Tom bargained, making sure Q knew this was a condition not to be broken.

Q assented with vigorous nodding. Tom looked at him expectantly until he got the message and flashed out of Harry’s quarters. Tom turned towards Harry and motioned to the couch.

“Looks like we have a lot of work to do. After all, this is Janeway we’re talking about,” Tom predicted as he sat down again. 

Harry followed suite and leaned back and closed his eyes as he let out a breath of air.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?” he asked the ceiling rhetorically. 

Tom chuckled as let his brain work on the problem at hand. He knew it would be hard for Q to win back Janeway if Tom didn’t think she had already developed feelings for him. Even then he knew it would be a hard job getting her to let herself feel any of it. He wouldn’t be surprised if she decided to never talk to Q again and send him and Harry to clean the plasma tubes for trying to help him.

“Do you have any idea how we can do this,” Harry inquired from his position on the couch. 

“A few but I don’t think any of them will work,” Tom replied hopelessly, crossing his arm over his eyes.

“Don’t you find it weird to be so intimately involved in the Captain’s private life?” Harry inquired, sounding uncomfortable. 

“Not really. It’s no weirder than betting on it,” Tom responds absentmindedly, thinking about how to win Janeway’s heart for Q. 

Harry only shook his head at the statement.

“How about we start this tomorrow? I know you have an early shift. You should get some sleep, buddy,” Tom suggested as he walked towards the door.

Harry assented and Tom left his quarters and returning to his own. 

A week passed and Tom and Harry worked diligently on a plan for Q. They began acting secretive, never going to the holodecks or spending time with friends. Everyone on board had begun to notice their behaviour and many rumours were spread. As Tom was spending all his time with Harry he no longer had any time for B’Elanna. When she confronted him about it he wasn’t forthcoming as the project was meant to be a secret and was hence thrown out by B’Elanna. 

Luckily for Tom and Harry all the time they spent on the plan paid off and by the end of the week they had a fully-fledged plan that had a chance of succeeding. 

The night the plan was fully finished and checked multiple times to make sure they had every scenario covered Tom and Harry were sitting in the latter’s quarters wondering how to contact Q. 

“The Captain used to just call his name out when she wanted to talk to him,” Harry offered to a thinking Tom.

“We can try,” Tom responded before calling out, “Q.”

The omnipotent being flashed into the room beside Harry, who jumped a foot in the air at the sudden appearance of the being in question.

“You called?” Q asked, smirking at the reception his entrance gained. 

“We’ve finished,” Tom told him handing him the PADD with the finished on it.

Q spent some time reading the plan and thinking over it. Tom and Harry waited with baited breath, hoping he would accept the plan so they could go back to normal life. Q was muttering under his breath, thinking over how well this plan could work. He knew Janeway would be a hard woman to catch but he also knew the plan was a good one, even by a Q’s standard. He continued to look over it for many minutes while the two men waited for his response. Tom was resisting the temptation to hurry him up. Finally Q looked up and smiled.

“Yes, I think this will do nicely,” he said, answering their unasked question. 

Both mean sighed in relief, allowing smiles to light up their features.

“Will you start soon?” Harry asked, curious.

“I believe I shall start tomorrow,” Q replied, moving to the middle of the room.

Before either man could blink Q had disappeared before their eyes in a flash, leaving both men staring blankly at the spot he had just occupied.   
 


	8. Chapter 8

Kathryn was worried. No, that’s an understatement. She was worried a week ago, now she was so concerned she was having trouble concentrating on anything but her all-consuming worry. Q has been missing for over two weeks now. No word, no presents, no indication that he was anywhere near Voyager anymore. At first Kathryn was glad he was gone but after a few days she realised she missed him. She was confused. She didn’t realise Q would give up so easily. He always seemed like the type of person to try until he got what he wanted. She knew she wouldn’t give in to him ever but having his presence was comforting. At least that way she knew at least one person would mourn if she died. 

She sat in her command chair on the bridge tapping her fingers against the arm rest in agitation. She knew Q couldn’t be dead. He was omnipotent after all. But what if he no longer wanted anything to do with her and Voyager? She wouldn’t blame him after how she had been treating him but some warning or goodbye might have been nice. No, she couldn’t think about this. This is what she wanted and she shouldn’t complain now that it had happened. She was being ridiculous. It was better for everyone if Q had nothing to do with them ever again. She couldn’t complain. Nothing had gone wrong in two weeks and the crew seemed to be working more efficiently. 

She sighed as she glanced to her left. She catches the smirk Chakotay is sporting. That’s another thing. Chakotay had become over the top with smugness about her situation. Every time he looked at her it seemed to say I told you so and looked victorious, as if she was something to be won. She disliked that almost as much as losing Q. 

No, she didn’t lose him. She kicked him off her ship and made sure he got the message to never come back. She was not the kind of woman to mourn the loss of a man. She hasn’t needed one before and she sure as hell doesn’t need one now. She turned back to the view screen to the front of her and stared at the empty expanse of space. She was glad her shift was almost over so she could leave the uncomfortable silence of the bridge and replace it with the comfortable silence of her quarters. At least there, there was no one to judge her. 

As people began to leave at the end of their duty shift Kathryn heaved herself out of her chair and walked into the turbo lift. As she went through the lift ride she thought maybe Q had left something for her in her quarters to apologize for his long absence. By the time she’d keyed in her access code she was certain there would be something waiting for her. 

The disappointment crashed into her as she inspected her quarters to find them as empty as when she left them that the morning. She began chastising herself for being so foolish. Of course he wouldn’t leave anything for her. He would never do that again. He was gone for good and it was best for the crew and Voyager if he stayed that way. 

“You are foolish Kathryn,” she spat at herself, “no man will ever want you enough to wait for you.”

The sadness crashed down. She didn’t realise how much she would miss Q if he ever left. Now the loneliness tried to consume her, bringing her down into the dark oppressive pit of depression. She couldn’t believe how much she missed the omnipotent being. It was more than any longing she had ever felt. She was so alone and he had been the one bright thing in her life on this ship stuck in this god forsaken quadrant of space. 

“Where are you, Q?” she asked the empty space before her.

She missed him so much. Why couldn’t he just come back? Her heart constricted painfully every time she remembered he was no longer around. If she wasn’t mistaken, she had begun to enjoy his company. Her feelings for him had begun to grow from the moment he had appeared for the fourth time on her ship. If she didn’t know any better she would say she was falling for him. No, she chastised herself. She shouldn’t be thinking this way. After all, it can’t be true.

She shook her head as she walked to the replicator. She needed food as she had neglected to eat all day. She took her bowl of fried rice to the couch and sat down. Q was still weighing on her mind. She still wanted to know where he was and why he no longer visited her. Actually, she was happy he was gone. She was no longer being interrupted at random intervals. It was definitely causing less stress for her. It was a good thing he was gone. Nothing significant could go wrong with the crew or her. This way she wouldn’t have to keep rejecting him which had begun to get tiring. It would save her energy which should have been used in the running of her ship. She sighed as she set her empty bowl on the table. All this thinking and conflictions with herself had drained her of all her energy. She let out a yawn as she stood up. She decided now would be a good time to go to bed. This way she wouldn’t have to think about the horrendous omnipotent being who had been taking up so much of her head space lately. 

She went along with the motions of getting ready for bed, not really thinking about it as her mind was otherwise occupied. Q was an invading force that she couldn’t rid her mind of. Why was this one being so prominent in her thoughts? She should be thinking about the ship and getting her crew home. Why couldn’t she get him out of her head? She knew she had gotten in too deep and she knew it was good that he had decided to leave her alone. This would give her a chance to completely forget about him and no longer worry about where he is and what he’s doing. 

She slipped between the sheets of her bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling. She traced the invisible pattern she had created over the years of staring at the same ceiling almost every night. She can’t say it’s the most imaginative pattern but at least it lulls her into sleep. 

Without warning the face of Q drifted across her vision. She sat up with a start. No, he couldn’t be here. She looked wildly around trying to spot the omnipotent being. 

“Q?” she called, tentatively.

Receiving no response she stared at the empty space before her, hoping she would catch a glimpse of him. As she once again scanned the room, more slowly this time, she wondered if her mind had finally cracked under the pressure. Catching no sign of Q she began to relax. Eventually she allowed herself to lie down but kept her eyes open, trying to find a hint that Q had actually been there. After fifteen minutes she decided she must have been imagining things. What could she expect after thinking about him constantly all day? She closed her eyes and tried to think of the thing farthest from Q. Every single thing she thought of seemed to bring her back to Q no matter how obscure. She flipped over to her side, trying to find a more comfortable position and to shake Q from her mind. She sighed as images of their first (and only, she reminded herself) date. She was so happy that night. She had never thought she would ever have that feeling again. As she drifted off a smile placed itself on her lips. Her dreams were filled with Q and how lovely having a relationship with him could have been.

Unbeknownst to Kathryn, Q watched her from the corner of her room, a smile lighting up his feature. How he loved that mortal woman. She had broken his poor little Q heart and yet he couldn’t leave her. She had a pull on him he couldn’t understand but he was determined for her to understand how she made him feel. From what he’d seen this evening he could tell she was beginning to open her eyes to her feeling. He knew soon it would be time to start the next stage of the plan but he couldn’t help feeling pleasure from the revenge he was inflicting on his beloved Kathy. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking like this but it was hard when the person in question had broken his heart. He wasn’t angry enough to continue hurting her in such a way and he was too in love with her to just let her go. He couldn’t imagine a continued existence without her.

As he started to plan how the next stage of his grand plan would go he drifted away from Voyager and his sleeping love.


	9. Chapter 9

Kathryn was calmly sitting in her quarter reading the latest report from Seven. She couldn’t understand how Seven could make the most interesting thing sound boring and clinical. The trouble with boring reports was the mind tended to wander as Kathryn found hers doing. It had drifted once again to Q and his unknown location. Why had he left with no warning and was he coming back? She was finding it hard to imagine her ship without Q. She was finding it strange without some grandiose exit claiming she had broken his heart and he would never return to such a cruel, heartless creature. The sound of her door chime interrupted her thoughts.

“Come,” she called, wondering who would be coming to see her at this time. 

The door opened to admit Chakotay into the room. As he walks in he smiles at her while looking the appropriate amount of guilty in the situation. Kathryn tenses, wondering why he has come to see her. He stands before her, looking her at her in silence. She crosses one leg over the other and deliberately waits for him to speak.

“Kathryn, how are you?” he asks, awkwardly breaking the silence.

Kathryn shrugs her shoulders in response.

“And Q? Has he turned up again?” he asked, uncomfortably waiting for her to talk to her.

In answer her eyes turn icy, daring him to keep going with this line of questioning. Seeing the look she gave him, Chakotay began to back pedal.

“It’s just, I know he’s gone and I’m really sorry about that and if I knew how to bring him back I would for you, you know, if that’s what you want… And… And…” Chakotay trailed off, looking despondently at the carpet. 

Kathryn couldn’t help softening her look. She’s missed him even though she knew she should never speak to him again. They were such good friends and still would be if Q hadn’t interrupted their daily lives. No, she couldn’t blame Q. After all, all he did was fall in love and you can’t blame someone for that. If only he hadn’t involved himself that stupid fight. Everything would still be fine and she could be happy. 

“If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be most grateful, Kathryn,” Chakotay beseeched her, grabbing her hand, staring pleadingly into her eyes. 

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. If that’s all you have come here for, I suggest you leave,” Kathryn replied, turning away. 

“Please Kathryn. Just tell me what to do to receive your forgiveness,” he begged, almost falling to his knees.

“No Chakotay. I can’t give you my forgiveness,” she insisted, standing up, trying to make her point. 

“You can, Kathryn. Just try. I’m willing to do anything. Just, please, forgive me,” he pleaded with her, sounding impossibly sad.

“You know I can’t. Not after your little spectacle in the mess hall,” she barked.

“Why not?” he retorted, grabbing hold of her hand from where it hung by her side. 

“Because as an officer of Starfleet it is completely inappropriate to engage a guest in a situation where they may be physically hurt. As my First Officer it makes it even worse. This isn’t a Marquis ship and you are expected to act as if you are Starfleet officer. You’d do well to remember that,” she seethed, wrenching her hand from his hold. 

“I was doing what I had to do to protect my Captain,” he roared at her.

“You were doing what you had to do to protect your own investment, you mean?” she thundered back in response. 

“Can’t you see how wrong he is for you?” he bellowed, grabbing her waist and pulling her forward.

“That’s your opinion,” she hissed, trying to break his grip.   
In response he pulled her flush against him. She crashed her hand into his chest trying to push him away from her. All this made him do was tighten his grip on her. He leaned down to her level, looking her straight in the eye.

“You were meant to be mine,” he viciously spat before bringing his lips towards hers.

Before he had a chance to make contact, Kathryn lifted her knee, effectively kneeing him in the groin. As he clutched the now sore part of his anatomy, she pushed him away from her in disgust. He lunged after her, grabbing hold of her hand in a bone crunching hold. 

“Commander, for your own safety I suggest you let go of me,” she threatened in a dangerous voice. 

“No, not until I have claimed what is rightfully mine,” he shouted, getting to his feet while her hand stayed in his vice like grip.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to but I believe it is not in this room so you should look elsewhere,” she said in a dangerously low voice. 

“I think you do know what I mean,” he stated as he began to back her up. 

“You’re mistaken, now leave,” she ordered, trying to once again push him away from her.

“My dear Kathryn, how could you not know,” he whispered as his hand wandered to her ass.

She gasped as she felt the contact, momentarily stopping her assault on him. He took this as consent and began to lower his head once again. Before he could connect their lips she began to hit against his chest again. 

“Why must you make this so difficult, Kathryn?” he whispered, leaning his head against hers. 

In this moment of weakness, Kathryn managed to extract herself from his grip and dodged around him before he could grab her again. 

“Leave,” she commanded, the steely glint in her eye flashing. 

“No,” he replied as he began to once again back her up. 

Each step made her feel as if she was running from him and showing fear but she knew by standing her ground… She didn’t even want to think about it. 

Soon enough her back connected with the wall and she knew she had no chance of escape. She briefly considered calling Q but was unsure if he would show up given their current… circumstances. Chakotay thumped his hand against the wall beside her head and leaned in once again.

“I will have you, Kathryn,” he insisted as he brought his other hand to her waist. 

As he placed his lips against hers she began to struggle, trying to get her knee to his groin again. Chakotay, already one step ahead of her, placed one of his legs between hers. She stood stoke still after that move, conscious of how close their two bodies were and repulsed by the feeling. His hands began to wander, pushing up the fabric of her shirt as he sought her breasts while the other travelled further south. She begun to struggle once again as she felt the trail his hands were making. Just as his hand dipped beneath the waistband of her pants the door chimed again. 

Before Chakotay could stop her from talking she gasped out, “Enter.” 

Chakotay quickly ripped his hands from her body and moved away before the door could open fully. Kathryn leaned against the wall, letting out a relieved sigh. Tuvok walked into the room, taking in the scene before him. Chakotay determinedly looking out the window and Kathryn tried to catch her breath and right her clothes while pointedly not looking at the Commander. Chakotay turned around, looking towards Tuvok.

“Goodbye Captain, Tuvok,” he coolly said as he left the room.

Kathryn glared after his retreating figure. Tuvok watched the two humans with a raised eyebrow. He could see the animosity between them and could only speculate as to why it was there.

“Is everything all right, Captain?” he asked with as much worry as a Vulcan could possess.

“I’m fine, Tuvok,” she replied, giving him a small smile as she took her seat on the couch once again. 

Tuvok raised his eyebrow at her response as he too took a seat on her couch. 

“I have the report you requested, Captain,” he said, handing over the PADD in his hand.

Kathryn began to read it, wondering how the crew was taking the development in her love life. She sighed as she set the PADD down and closed her eyes. How was she taking the development in her love life? Not well at the moment. Not after… Well, at least Tuvok was still on her side after all this. She looked over to her companion. If he wasn’t a Vulcan she would have sworn his face showed worry and concern for her.

“Thank you, Tuvok. I’ll make sure to read it thoroughly,” she replied as she flashed a smile at him, hoping it would reassure him that everything was fine. 

Before Kathryn could say anymore, her stomach interrupted by growling its complaint of the lack of food. She gave Tuvok a sheepish smile as she stood up. Tuvok followed suite.

“Would you accompany to the mess hall for dinner, Captain?” he asked, noting the happiness his offer brought.

“I’d love to, Tuvok,” she answered as she took his arm and steered him out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Kathryn was sitting behind her desk trying to work. Her mind kept replaying the events of the last week. Q’s disappearance, Chakotay’s sexual harassment and a ridiculously large amount of work that people seem to be neglecting. She sighed, realising things wouldn’t be getting better any time soon. She knew she could never forgive Chakotay or what he did and never trust him again as she once had. She turned back towards the PADD in her hand and wondered how someone could find the scientific explanation of a supernova as beautiful as the real thing. She continued to read, trying to find the beauty within the words that other members of her crew saw. Before long she realised she has read the whole report and was beginning on the next. The time began to slip past her, leaving her in a world of science and space and all that entails. 

Kathryn’s head snapped up as a delicious scent wafted through out the room. She smiled, knowing that Q had begun to watch her again. She stood, trying to find where the smell was coming from. On the coffee table by the window a pie sat, looking exactly as the ones her grandmother made when she was a young girl. Her grin widened as she chuckled at the sweetness of it. She sat down on the couch as she thought she would indulge Q just this once. Only because she was hungry though, she told herself as she took the first bite. She closed her eyes in bliss as the appley goodness invaded her senses. It tasted exactly as she remembered it from her childhood. She couldn’t believe how right Q got it. If anything might sway her, she thought, this might just be it. Before she could blink, she had devoured the whole thing, crumbs and all. She sighed as she looked up from the empty plate to see the giant stack of PADDs waiting for her to read. The smile slipped from her face as she stood up and picked up the top PADD. 

The hours flew past as she allowed herself to slip into her work. A yawn wracked through her body, jolting her from her reading. She stretched her aching muscles as she stood from her chair. The trip to her quarters was uneventful, giving her time to dream of a relaxing bath. Before she allowed herself to stop for food, she walked into the bathroom to find a full bath full of bubbles waiting for her. She allowed a smile to creep across her face knowing Q was still looking out for her. She stripped and sunk down into the warmth of the water, sighing as it immediately begun to work wonders on her aching muscles. The bliss of a nice, hot bath waiting for her at the end of the day made her dream of an ending where this would become the norm. Although she knew eventually Q would get bored with her and she would spend the rest of this journey alone, it was nice to dream of coming home to someone waiting for her. Her mind begun to wander into dreams of a preferable future. 

As the water began to cool down Kathryn, smelling something from the outer room, rose. Just as she was finished tying her robe, she emerged from her room. A beautifully laid out tabled was situated in the middle of the room, causing her to groan at the smell it emitted. She sat at the table looking at the gorgeous meal before her. Her thoughts followed the line of, in for a penny in for a pound. Her stomach grumbled as she picked up the cutlery. The first bite was like heaven the moment it touched her tongue. She smiled as she continued to eat the chicken left for her, allowing the glorious taste to consume her senses. She sat back from the consumed meal in bliss, thinking how well Q was trying to look after her. Not that she needed him to, of course, but it was nice all the same. When her eyes begun to droop she realised it was probably time for sleep. She slipped between the sheets and she was asleep before her head hit the pillow. 

Kathryn slowly awoke to the sound of her alarm. She stretched as she told the computer to cease the alarm. She found it hard to remember a night she had slept so well. She got ready for the day, wondering what would be in store for her. Especially with Q running around the ship once again. The sight of a cooked breakfast waiting for her brought a smile to her face before quickly disappearing. She quickly walked past it, not allowing Q to think she would allow him to look after her or that he would have another chance. She walked out the door and to the turbo lift without a second thought of breakfast. The moment she stepped onto the bridge she can tell it wasn’t going to be a good day. She sat in her chair and glanced at Chakotay. He noticed her watching him and caught her eye before allowing his gaze to slide over her body in an incredibly seedy and uncomfortable manner. She snapped her head forward and tried to ignore his wandering eyes as she stared at the view screen. She shifted in her seat as his gaze landed on a part of her anatomy she would rather he never looked at again. Her level of discomfort was slowly rising as his gaze refused to move on. 

“Commander, you have the bridge,” she said as she abruptly stood. 

She walked into her ready room, feeling Chakotay watching her the whole way. The smell of freshly brewed coffee hit her as she crossed the threshold. She ignored the cup sitting on her desk as she sat down and picked up a waiting PADD. She allowed the words to flow through her mind without taking much of it in. She kept thinking about Chakotay’s wandering eyes and how he seemed to always be in the same room as her in public. A flash caught her attention as her cup was replaced with a brand new, steaming one. She shook her head at Q’s attempts to look after her and went back to her reports. 

Throughout the morning the coffee cups would get cold and be replaced as Kathryn studiously ignored them. By the time lunch rolls around 25 cups of coffee had appeared and been replaced. A larger flash in the corner of her eye bring Kathryn’s attention to the coffee table in the room. Sitting there is a beautifully laid out salad, waiting to be consumed. She deliberately turned her head from the food and picked up another PADD, all the while making a note of the beauty and thoughtfulness of the salad. 

The hours slowly tick by as she continued to work. She was sure the changeover in shift must have occurred but the need to forget about her problems forced her further into her work. More coffee appeared and was ignored as she ploughed through the seemingly endless pile of work she had. Before long she realised a most delicious smell was wafting around the room, making her stomach growl. She looks to where the salad previously sat to find the place occupied by a casserole. The way her stomach was complained reminded her she has yet to eat anything that day. With that thought in mind she stood up and stretched her back before she walked over to the replicator. She grabbed the sandwich she asked for and returned to her work, not allowing the smell of Q’s offering to tempt her. 

After she realised she had read the same sentence ten times without taking it in, Kathryn decided she would retire to her quarters for what would probably be extremely unrestful sleep. She wasn’t wrong. Her thoughts were full of the way Chakotay had been looking at her, how far he may have gone the night he visited her. She could only imagine how Q would react if he knew. She was worried how far Chakotay would push her before she snapped. And then what? Demoting him? Having him locked in the brig? She sighed as she rolled over knowing none of those were suitable options. Slowly she slipped into a restless sleep, her thoughts plagued with what might have been. 

The next morning Kathryn awoke bleary eyed hoping for a simple day even though she knew it wouldn’t be. She left her quarters, walking right past the expected breakfast with her usual cup of coffee in her hand. As she waited for the turbo lift’s doors to close Chakotay slipped in causing her to tense. After giving her a once over he turned his back to her to face the door. She could feel the tension in the confined space and hoped the ride would end shortly. After what felt like ten minutes of excruciating silence but was in fact only about thirty seconds the doors opened to reveal the bridge.

Kathryn strode out of the lift and, without looking at anybody, walked into her ready room. The sight of a single rose sitting on her desk made her stop short. A smile lit up her face as she thought of how well Q knows her. After such a horrible start to the morning he knew how to make her feel better and she found it nice that he still cared enough to try to make her happy. She delicately picked it up and brought it to her nose inhaling a scent she was sure she would never forget. The first rose Q ever gave her. It brought a smile to her face every time she thought about it. And he remembered. He really did care for her. It struck her that this wasn’t just a game for him; he honestly did love her and wanted her back. Her legs almost gave out at the realisation. She shakily sat down as she wondered what to do. She couldn’t deny she wanted him back too but after what he did… She knew she was probably being too hard on him, it was only self-defence. But she also knew he had wanted to take a swing at her first officer for some time. Her heart was battling so hard with her head and she was scared what would happen if it won. 

The moment a cup appeared she picked it up and drank from it gratefully. She knew that as long as Q was around she would continue to have to fight with herself on the matter of forgiving him. She picked up a waiting PADD and tried reading it but her thoughts kept drifting back to Q. Where was he? How was he? With all her racing thoughts she almost missed the flash of light signifying the appearance of lunch. She let out a chuckle as she sat down to eat what Q had given her. As usual she devoured the delicious meal with pleasure. She sighed as she saw the continuous stack of PADDs awaiting her. At least Q always gave her a distraction from her work, either good or bad; it still was nice to take a break sometimes. 

The hours began to finally trickle past as she was able to concentrate on work after being reminded that Q seemed to always be on her ship. As she realised a fair amount of time had passed and nothing had appeared she put the PADD she was reading down and called to the computer,

“What’s the time?”

“The time is 1945 hours,” the computer replied in its monotonous voice. 

At the absence of any sort of dinner, Kathryn left her ready room, wondering if Q had planned something more elaborate than her ready room could accommodate. The minute she walked over the threshold into her quarters she would see why he hadn’t left this in her ready room. A table was beautifully set up in the middle of the room, with the meal waiting for her. She noted the single placement and wondered why Q would go to all this trouble if he didn’t plan on joining her. She shrugged off the thought as she sat at the gorgeous table and began to consume the meal before her. The meal was delicious as always and she can’t help wonder how Q could get it right ever time.

She left the table wondering if he should try to finish reading the reports but couldn’t bring herself to do so. Instead, she picked up the book she was reading and curled up on the couch, waiting to see where the plot was taking her. She began to become immersed in the fictional world being constructed in her head. 

The flash beside her made her jump, almost making her fall of the couch. She heard a deep chuckle beside her as she tried to regain her balance. 

“Q” she admonished as she tried to regain her breath. 

“I’m sorry Kathy dearest, but you do paint a rather funny picture when surprised,” Q joked as his chuckles died down. 

“Any reason you’re here?” she asked, irritated at him laughing at her. 

“I came to offer you a delicious way to end your meal,” he smirked as he produced a bowl of coffee ice cream from thin air.

“I decline,” she replied as she went back to her book.

“C’mon Kathy, you know you want it,” he enticed, trying to feed her a spoonful. 

She sighed at his attempt and put the book down between them.

“If I eat it will you stop harassing me,” she asked.

“For now,” he answered.

She sighed again as she took the offered bowel and spoon and begun to eat. 

“I shouldn’t be eating this,” she said between mouthfuls.

“Why not, Kathy dearest,” Q inquired, trying to keep the smile off his face.

“First of all, I shouldn’t be encouraging you, second, I don’t need to start putting on weight,” she replied around a mouthful of the icy cold treat.

“You will always be beautiful, no matter how much ice cream you eat,” he said sincerely, looking into her eyes.

The amount of love she saw directed at her in them made her feel uncomfortable. She hadn’t really seen the depth of his feelings for her before and seeing it made her feel terrible for not allowing him a second chance. 

“I know I’m asking for too much for your forgiveness but if you could find it in your heart I would never let you down again,” he pleaded, looking so much like a kicked puppy she almost forgave him of everything.

Seeing her resolve beginning to weaken he tried to implore to her softer side.

“I couldn’t see that man hurting you anymore, Kathy. He hurt you and to me, that’s unforgivable. Please, I will never do anything like that ever again unless it’s okay with you. I love you, Kathryn, please,” he begged, taking her hands. 

He could visibly see her walls slowly coming down and wondered how long it would be before she forgave him. Seeing her begin to allow him back inside he lent forward and captured her lips in a searing kiss. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer as she reciprocated. As her brain kicked in she pushed him away forcefully. 

“I can’t do this,” she muttered, running her fingers through her hair. 

“Yes you can Kathy,” he insisted, cupping her cheek.

“No, I can’t Q. I can’t forgive you; you’re not good for me. I need you to leave,” she stated.

“Of course Kathy, anything to make you feel better,” he agreed, standing up. 

He allowed a smile to light up his features as he turned away from her. The plan was slowly working. He snapped his fingers and disappeared from Kathryn’s living room. She allowed herself to slump against the couch before deciding it would be better to go to bed. How was it after every visit from Q she ended up exhausted?


	11. Chapter 11

Days later Kathryn was sitting on her couch in her quarters continuing the books she had previously been reading. Although she was reading her mind occasionally turned to Q as it always seemed to these days. The sweet things he’d been doing for her; providing meals and coffee, leaving flowers to make her smile and giving her small gifts to brighten her day. No matter what he did for her, she couldn’t help but smile at his antics. She shook her head, trying to rid her head of the thoughts so she could go back to her book. She smiled as she continued reading, allowing herself to slip once again in the world being created around her. 

She felt an arm effulge her and moved into the warm body absentmindedly. She lent her head on the shoulder attached to the body. She felt more than heard the chuckle that rumbled through the body. She relaxed into the warmth and safety the body afforded. She breathed in, recognizing the smell of the person. 

She sat up ram rod straight, all trace of relaxation gone. Q smirked at her as she mock glared at him. He allowed an innocent smile to replace the smirk, pretending it wasn’t his plan for her to snuggle into him. She let a chuckle escape her lips at his innocent act. A genuine smile spread across his face at her amusement. 

“So why are you here Q?” she asked as her chuckles died down.

“Why shouldn’t I drop in on the beautiful one I love?” he queried, pulling her against him once again. 

“Oh, you always have a reason,” she joked, allowing herself to relax against his broad chest.

“I just wanted to see you,” he smiled before kissing her temple. 

“Thank you Q,” she sighed, resting her head on him. 

“How is everything, Kathy?” he asked, loving the feeling of her against him. 

“Everything’s fine,” she tried to brush off his question. 

“Are you sure,” he questioned, not allowing her to shut him out.

“It’s no worse. Tom and B’Elanna are on the rocks again. Harry appears to be taking up with Megan Delanney. I hope it works out for him. Harry deserves happiness,” she smiled, thinking about the youngest member of her crew.

“I like young Mr Kim, he’s a very helpful,” he smile himself, thinking of the few times he’d met the young officer. 

“Do I want to know why you think so?” she asked curiously.

“Possibly but I shall not divulge the information,” he smirked, waiting for the glare he was expecting. 

When it didn’t come he continued on,” Other than Mr Kim, how is the rest of your crew?”

“Antsy knowing you’re always around,” she replied dryly. 

“And the Commander?” he asked hesitantly.

“Q,” she warned.

“Is he harassing you?” he asked, hoping the answer would be no. 

“Of course not,” she replied shifting away from him.

He could instantly she was lying to him. That made him worried. What was that bastard doing to his beloved Kathy? It enraged him. How could she put up with this? How could he do that to her? 

“Q, it isn’t that bad,” she tried to reassure as she felt him tense up. 

“No Kathy, it is. How could he do this? You don’t deserve it,” he raged. 

“It doesn’t matter what I deserve. It’s what it is and I try to make the best of it. It doesn’t matter,” she forcefully replied. 

It does matter. Just tell me what he’s been doing to you,” he demanded.

“I can’t,” she responded. 

“Please, I must know,” he pleaded, searching her eyes for any trace of what had happened.

She knew she couldn’t deny him this. After all, he probably had a right to know. Although, she wasn’t sure why. 

“He tried to take advantage of me,” she admitted, unable to meet his eye.

“How?” he asked, his voice dangerously calm.

“He came here and forced me against the wall. If Tuvok hadn’t showed up I’m not sure what would have happened,” she shuddered, looking into her lap.

She heard him roar as he rose from the couch. 

“Please, don’t do anything stupid. I wasn’t hurt, nothing actually happened,” she pleaded, grabbing hold of his hand.

He barley felt it. His sight was tinted red. He couldn’t shake the image of Chakotay taking his Kathy against the wall without her permission. He wanted to kill the bastard for even trying. 

“Q,” Kathryn cried as she stood to face him, “Please don’t do anything stupid.”

“It won’t be stupid. He can’t do that to you Kathy. Not you, never you,” he seethed.

“He didn’t do it, Q. Look at me, I’m fine. Nothing happened,” she reassured, placing her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. 

“He tried, that’s enough for him to deserve his fate,” he fumed.

“His fate?” she asked, confused.

“I’m going to kill him. He deserves it. He deserves everything he gets,” he thundered, turning away from her to leave.

“No, Q, wait,” she called.

When he didn’t she chased him, putting herself between him and the door.

“Please get out of my way, Kathy,” he requested, not wanting to hurt her.

“No, not until you listen to me properly,” she demanded, trying to push him further into the room. 

“That will take too long. I need to do this now,” he fumed, trying to dodge around her.

“No,” she said placing her hand on her chest.

He pushed against her gently, forcing her backwards. Knowing words wouldn’t calm him she did the only thing she could think of. She threw herself at him and captured his lips with hers. Her unexpected kiss caused him to let out a surprised gasp. As soon as he realised what was happening he responded with all the passion he had built up over the weeks he’d been away from her. She let out a moan as his tongue invaded her mouth. He lifted her up and carried her back to the couch before laying her down. 

His hands began to roam her body, trying to commit every curve and dip to memory. She sighed at his touch, pulling him closer to her. He trailed his moth away from hers latching onto a point beneath her ear. As he began to lightly suck on the spot she emitted a gasp. Her sharp gasp turned into a deep moan, sending shivers running down his spine. 

Her level of arousal was rising with every second. Of course he would be able to find that spot without any difficulties. His hands moved over her body, causing her to arch into his touch. She wanted him closer, nearer, in her. That last thought caused her to rip her mouth from his and push him up.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this,” she muttered as she ran her hands through her hair. 

“Why Kathy? Everything is perfect, why can’t we do this,” he asked, resting his forehead against hers. 

She opened her mouth to respond but was unable to form words. He watched her trying to from a response, knowing that she would come up short. Eventually she slumped forward onto him forcing him to hug her. He gently placed his arms around her, drawing her closer to his body. She lent her head against his shoulder, drawing comfort from the embrace. He breathed in her scent knowing that although she wouldn’t agree now she was on her way to taking him back. 

“Oh Kathy,” he murmured into her hair lovingly. 

She sighed against his neck, snuggling further into her body suddenly feeling exhausted. He lightly pressed a kiss to her temple drawing the comfort she was providing him. He wanted so much for her to accept his apology and take him back. He wanted her to welcome him into her quarters and her life. No, it was more than wanted, he needed her. He wasn’t sure he could live without her in his life. She was what was keeping him in existence. Without her he wasn’t sure how he would survive. Knowing he was so close to having her back, he was finding it hard waiting for her. He craved her touch, her love and was trying to be patient but when she pulled a stunt like that it was so hard for him not to immediately take her to bed.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, allowing her fingers to trace patterns on his chest.

“You,” he replied simply, nuzzling his nose in her hair. 

Satisfied with his answer she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of being held. Realising what she was allowing and how intimate they looked she sat up from his embrace. He could see the emotions flitting through her eyes and the conflict she felt. He wanted so badly to wipe her problems away. He could see how badly she wanted to say yes all the while knowing she couldn’t. He wanted her to give into her desire but knew in the end she wouldn’t. At least, not tonight. 

Before she could say anything, Q rose from the couch and looked down at her with such love she smiled goofily. 

“I can see you need more time my most beloved Kathy. I shall be back soon. You think about this and hopefully you will come up with an answer,” he gallantly said, kissing the back of her hand. 

She watched him as he prepared to leave. He winked at her before snapping his fingers and disappearing in his customary flash.  


	12. Chapter 12

Kathryn slipped into the turbo lift after a long day. Chakotay had been making it excruciating to be on the bridge. Unfortunately they had stumbled across a class 12 nebula that shut down the warp core. They had spent the better part of the day trying to get it back online while trying to figure what exactly had caused it to shut down in the first place. All through the day, she could feel Chakotay’s eyes raking her body, leering at her, making her feel incredibly uncomfortable. Luckily B’Elanna had been able to get it back online after many difficulties. Her mind kept replaying the scene after B’Elanna’s success. Chakotay had walked up to her, suggestively eying her up and down, and suggested they celebrate the success together. She turned him down simply before heading back to her quarters but couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes on her body. 

She let out a long breath as the doors of the turbo lift opened and strode into the hall. She quickly reached her quarters and keyed in the access code. She walked in, expecting to find her normal quarters and instead found the lights dimmed and a romantic table for two set up in the middle of the room. Q stepped up to her and handed her a glass of red wine, allowing his fingers to brush over hers. He smiled down at her before walking over to the table and pulling out a chair. 

“Why don’t you sit, Kathy? You seem tired,” Q offered.

“Thank you Q but I have already pointed previously, you have already had your chance and unless I’m mistaken I haven’t given you another,” she retorted but sat down anyway.

“I’m merely here as a friend,” he replied easily, “I just want you to be able to relax after a stressful day. That’s all I’m thinking about.” 

Although suspicious she allowed Q to serve her the meal. It was as beautiful as all previous meals he had given her and she couldn’t help but flush at Q’s attentions. Everything he had given her or done for her had brought butterflies to her stomach in the last few weeks and although it disturbed her greatly she knew way. She never thought she would feel this way for another man after Mark. 

“Are you okay, Kathy?” Q questioned, breaking her from her thoughts. 

“I’m fine, Q” she snapped, annoyed at him for making her feel these things.

“No you’re not, Kathy. I can see it. There’s something going on. Please tell me,” he pleaded, placing his hand over her own. 

“I’m finding life difficult thanks to you,” she replied, moving her hand from underneath his. 

“I don’t understand. What have I done?” he asked, clearly confused. 

“Nothing, Q. You have done absolutely nothing,” she sighed, suddenly feeling tired after such a stressful day. 

“What’s happened? I must know,” he demanded. 

“What do you think Q? What is always my problem?” she raged at him.

“You are not making sense Kathy,” he insisted.

“I’m sorry Q. it’s been a stressful day. Chakotay’s been, well, he’s been the same. I just need him to leave me alone,” she admitted, looking down into her plate. 

“Bastard,” he whispered.

He tensed, thinking of all the horrible things Chakotay would try to do to his beloved Kathy. Of what he had tried. It angered him that no one had done anything about it. It was obvious how terribly it was affecting Kathy and he couldn’t stand seeing her in pain. He wanted to kill the bastard, or at least punch him in the face. It was better than he deserved. 

“Q?” Kathryn asked worriedly. 

“Yes, my dear?” he replied, going back to eating.

“Thank you,” she acknowledged, taking his lead and continued to eat.

They ate in quietly, occasionally breaking the silence to comment, until the meal was completed. When both had stopped eating Q snapped his fingers to get rid of the leftover food and the plates and cutlery. Once everything had disappeared he stood up and extended his hand to Kathryn.

“Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?” he asked, hope written all over his face.

She laughed, thinking how ridiculous he was being.

“There’s no music,” she pointed out between giggles. 

He ignored her comment and pulled her up into his arms. She placed her arms around his neck as both his arms wrapped around her waist, drawing her into his embrace. They began to move slowly to music only they could hear. She rested her head against his shoulder, basking in the warmth and comfort he brought her. He looked down at her, a small smile gracing his features as he felt how happy she was. Having her in his arms caused him to feel happier than anything in the universe could. Feeling his gaze she looked up into his eyes, seeing nothing but love radiating from them. She smiled as he drew her closer. He slowly leaned in, giving her plenty of time to pull away if she felt uncomfortable. His lips gently pressed against hers, pulling a moan from her. She kissed him back, drawing him further down. He slowly pulled back, looking down at her, happiness radiating from him.

“I thought you came here with friendly intentions,” she teased, gazing up at him. 

“I must admit, tonight wasn’t just an evening for a friend. I need you, Kathy, more than I’ve ever needed anything else. My thoughts are consumed with you, I’m counting down the seconds until I can convince you to take me back, I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of your life. I can’t concentrate on anything but you. Please say you’ll take me back,” he begged, laying his heart out for her to see. 

She pulled away from him, forcing him to let go of her. 

“I can’t Q. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all I’ve put you through. I’m sorry that I’m too selfish to tell you to leave every time you show up. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want. I can’t do it to the crew, or myself. I’m sorry, Q,” she said softly, turning her back on him. 

He gently turned her around and enclosed her in his arms. When she looked at him questionably he brought his lips down to hers in a bruising kiss. He needed her and he would be damned if he let her go. After a moment she began to reciprocate, pulling him closer to her. He grasped her hips, pulling them towards his. She gasped as she felt his arousal pressing into her abdomen. He quickly kissed her again before letting her go. 

“Tell me you don’t want this. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me and I shall leave and never return,” he ordered, determined to have her in his arms once again.

“I…I…” she stuttered before looking down at her twisting hands. 

“Please Kathy,” he said taking her hands in his larger ones, “please say you’ll take me back.” 

“I’m not sure I can,” she said, struggling to find the right words. 

“Why?” he questioned, worried she was going to throw him out again.

“What if he hurts you?” she replied, looking up into his eyes, unshed tears threatening to spill over.

“I won’t let him and, more importantly, I won’t let him hurt you anymore. Just say I have one more chance. Please,” he pleaded, hugging her to him.

“One more chance,” she responded, “just don’t screw it up this time.”

He allowed a smile to spread across his features as he picked her up and twirled her around. She laughed, clinging to him, happy to feel so at home again. He slowly put her back on her feet before stealing a kiss. She grinned up at him as she led him over to the couch. She situated herself in his arms, cuddling against his side. 

“You have made me the happiest Q in the entire continuum,” he declared, pulling her closer.

“You make me happy too,” she confessed, burying her face in his neck.

“I love you, Kathy,” he whispered into her hair before pressing a kiss to her temple. 

She hummed, pressing herself against him. He chuckled at her need to be closer to him.

“I missed you,” she admitted into his neck, “While you weren’t here I missed you so much.”

“I’ll never leave you again if that’s what you desire,” he assured her. 

“What did you do while you were gone?” she asked curiously. 

“I spent the time contemplating our time together. I began to realise how much I needed you and that I would do anything to get you back. I planned how,” he replied, smiling down at her. 

She rubbed his leg, knowing how hard to must have been for him to have her constantly knock him back. He pressed another kiss to her temple, glad to finally have her back in his arms. He caressed her back, needing to feel her to make sure she was really here and allowing him to hold her like that. She began to droop against him, the events of the day finally catching up with her.

“You’re tired, Kathy. I should leave,” he suggested, making to leave. 

“Not yet,” she begged, grabbing hold of him. 

“Kathy, it’s past midnight. You need sleep. A tired captain is a grumpy captain,” he argued, “I’ll be back later.”

“Okay,” she agreed, nodding.

Q stood up, bringing her with him as he did. 

“Goodnight Kathy. Sleep well,” he wished her before gently kissing her.

She kissed him back before he broke away. He smiled down at her before disappearing. She staggered into her room, deliriously happy, but ridiculously tired. She got into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	13. Chapter 13

Kathryn was in her ready room talking to Tuvok about various members of the crew and their performances. She didn’t realise how many crew members were going above and beyond the call of duty. Without warning Q flashed in beside her. Without glancing at Tuvok he grabbed her hand and spun her around. 

“Come away with me, Kathy. We shall travel among the stars and see the universe together,” he proposed grandiosely. 

“I can’t right now Q. I’m very busy. How about you come back after my shift ends?” she smiled up at him, chuckling at his disappointed expression.

“I shall be back soon then,” he replied before bending down and quickly kissing her.

He snapped his fingers and disappeared before anyone could blink. She smiled as she turned back to Tuvok waiting for his response. He only raised an eyebrow before going back to the work at hand. 

Later that night Kathryn was sitting in her quarters waiting for Q to make his promised appearance. To keep her mind off what he planned she decided to go over some reports for tomorrow. Most were boringly dull, doing nothing to occupy her mind. She let out a happy sigh as Q appeared in her quarters looking delectable in Kathryn’s opinion. She stood up, smoothing her skirt down, suddenly self-conscious about her appearance. 

Q took in her appearance and couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked. Her bright red blouse hugged the curves of her body making her as tantalising as she thought of him. The black skirt she was wearing flowed over her body, ending just above the knee, creating a stark contrasr between her pale skin and the fabric. Her hair was up in a beautifully complicated chiffon with a few wisps of hair around her face giving her a softer look. Her makeup, he noticed, was kept minimal, drawing the attention to her striking eyes. The overall effect was one of complete beauty. She took away his breathe as she stood there before him, waiting for a response. 

“You are so beautiful,” he said sincerely after gaping for a few moments, causing her to blush.

“Thank you, Q. You scrub up well too,” she replied, smiling at him as she took his hand. “So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, Kathy, but you will love it,” he responded before leaning down and bestowing a kiss upon her lips as a bright flash enveloped them.

When he finally let her up for breath she noticed the scenery around them had changed. They were now in an impossibly green clearing on a strange planet. She noticed the ground was scattered with tiny blue flowers. The trees surrounding them looked incredibly like red cedars from earth. Their formation as a tight ring gave her the feeling of being the only person on the planet. The beauty of the place as incomparable to any other place she had seen. She noticed a red checked blanket situated in the middle of the clearing. A bucket of ice holding a bottle of champagne was leaning against an old fashioned picnic basket. 

Q grabbed her hand and led her over to the picnic spot. 

As she sat beside him she commented, “This is such a lovely place, Q. How ever did you find it?”

He chuckled as he replied, “I came across it in one of my many travels of the universe. I always thought some minor bipedal species would find it a nice place.”

“Well, this minor bipedal species finds it a nice place,” she retorted allowing a laugh to escape her lips. 

He beamed at her mirth as he began to pour the champagne into two flutes. He passed one to her before raising his own.

“I propose a toast,” he announced to his guest.

“For what?” she asked as she tried to get her giggles under control.

“If you aren’t going to take this seriously I shall have to take you back,” he replied, miffed at her lack of seriousness in the situation. 

“I’m sorry, Q. Of course I find this serious,” she answered, finally able to contain her giggles.

“Then as I was saying, I would like to propose a toast to our newly established relationship. I believe this should be something we celebrate right away,” he proposed as he raised his glass once again. 

“To our new start,” she answered, raising her glass to his. 

He smiled as he clinked his glass against hers before taking a sip. She followed suite, allowing the cool liquid to slide down her throat. She watched him as he begun to unpack the basket beside him. He took out a range of containers, none of which told her what they contained. 

“What are we eating?” she asked, curiously looking at the different sized containers. 

“All in good time,” he replied cryptically as he continued to take out many more containers. 

“Do you just have an endless supply of food in there?” she teased as she allowed her fingers to dance along his arm. 

“You are quite distracting, my dear,” he smirked at her as he pulled her closer. 

She gently kissed him, drawing him closer to her. He licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance which she gladly gave. He slipped his hand under her shirt, skimming the skin of her stomach. She gasped at his touch, ripping her mouth from his at the sensation. Both were breathing heavily as they stared at each other in the silence that ensured. 

“We should eat,” Q said shakily, moving back towards the food. 

“Yes, food,” she replied absentmindedly as she stroked her lips.

Q continued unpacking the food until a feast lay before them. Food of every variety was spread out on the blanket causing Kathryn’s mouth to water. 

“Where did you get so much food?” she breathed, gazing at it all. 

In response he flashed a smile in her direction as he offered her the salad. She took a piece of capsicum, crunching into it as she smirked at him. They began to eat in companionable silence, sharing glances across the blanket. Their gazes were filled with desire, neither acting on it but both knowing it was there. Before long the food had been devoured leaving the blanket empty. 

“That was lovely, Q,” she complimented, shifting over to his side of the blanket. 

“Would you like a jelly baby?” he asked in reply, offering a white paper bag to her. 

She chuckled as she plunged her hand into the bag and withdrew a bright orange baby shaped gelatinous mass. She popped it into her mouth as he grinned down at her, pulling her into his body. She settled against him as they continued to share the bag of delicious treats. 

“You always manage to surprise me,” she commented as he fed her the last jelly baby. 

“I try,” he replied as he lowered them to the blanket. 

She cuddled into his body, staring up at the stars. She rested her head on his shoulder as his arm went around her waist. He held her close to his body, breathing in her scent.

“I used to dream about this, you know?” she began to say, conversationally, “sitting on alien planets, far from home, travelling the stars, meeting alien races. It was the only thing I could dream of doing, discovering all the universe had to tell. I just never thought I would spend my whole life on one ship. I have to say, although we’ve had our ups and downs with this whole experience, it’s been going better than I thought it would.” 

“You’ve done amazingly, Kathy. No one could do a better job than you could,” he complimented, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

She gently rolled over until she could meet his eyes. He slowly leaned down and placed his lips over hers. She melted under his touch, moaning into his mouth in pleasure. He pushed her against the blanket, hovering over her body, trying to keep his body weight off her. She snaked her arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer. He rolled them over, allowing her to rest against him as his tongue plundered her mouth. Their tongues fought for dominance as his hands began to wander under her blouse. She gasped at the sudden contact, pushed her body further into his. His mouth trailed down her neck, latching onto the point just below her ear, causing her to let out a low moan. She tilted her head back while his hands began to move further up her back, drawing her closer to his body. He flipped them over once again as he trailed his mouth back to her hers. She pushed her fingers into his hair, tugging at the strands as he took her breath away. 

“I love you,” he groaned as he detached his mouth from hers. 

She fought to catch her breath as he lay down beside her once again and drew her into his arms. She lay her head on his chest as he held her, looking out into the stars. 

“It’s so immense,” she murmured, watching the stars shine. 

He gazed down at her and smiled, noticing how tired she seemed. She slowly closed her eyes, a smile lighting up her features. 

“If you’re tired I can take you home,” he suggested, loosening his hold on her. 

“No, it’s just, you make me feel safe” she admitted as she buried her head into his chest. 

He tightened his hold on her once again while he kissed her head.

“Actually, I am getting tired. Maybe you should take me home now,” she mumbled sitting up from her comfortable position. 

“As you wish,” he complied, grabbing hold of her as they disappeared back to Voyager.

“Thank you for the wonderful evening, Q. Everything was lovely,” she complimented, squeezing his hand reassuringly. 

“Nothing was more lovely than you,” he crooned, cupping her cheek with his free hand. 

“Always the charmer,” she teased as she supressed a yawn. 

“You’re tired, Kathy. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, leaning down for a kiss.

“I hope so,” she got out before his lips were on hers.

“Goodnight, Kathy, sweet dreams,” he murmured before disappearing before her eyes. 

She gently touched her lips as she thought about the wonderful evening. Everything had been perfect, he couldn’t have done anything better. She smiled as she went to get ready for bed. She couldn’t wait for him to show up tomorrow and lift her spirits as he always did.


	14. Chapter 14

“Are you almost ready, Kathy?” Q asked, irritated with the amount of time she was taking. “We’re going to be late.”

“We are not going to be late,” she chided as she emerged from her bathroom. 

In fact, they were running slightly late for the party being held for Tom in Sandrine’s but Kathryn would never admit it. She walked into Q’s waiting arms, placing a small kiss on his lips. As he began to reciprocate she pulled back as she pulled him towards the door. He groaned but she just chuckled at his response while they walked down the corridor.

“You were the one complaining we would be late,” she pointed out, amused at his reaction. 

He just grumbled in response as he followed her into the turbo lift. She grabbed his hand, placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. He smiled down at her, revelling in small amount of affection she was showing him. They exited the lift and walked down the hallway. They entered the holodeck, noticing the glances they were being given. Kathryn led Q over to Tom, greeting some crewmembers as she went.

“Happy birthday, Tom,” she wished, hugging him.

“Thank you, Captain,” he replied, hugging her back for a moment. 

She pulled back from him, gesturing for Q to come forward.

“Happy birthday, Helmboy,” greeted, placing his arm around her waist. 

The gesture was not lost on anyone in the general vicinity. Tom nodded his acknowledgement before they continued on their way through the room to the bar where the Doctor was serving.

“Hello, Doctor,” she said, leaning her hip on the bar. 

“Captain,” he greeted, “What will you have this fine evening?”

“A red wine would be lovely,” she requested, smiling at him.

“Certainly,” he replied before retrieving the drink.

“And you?” he asked Q as he passed the drink to his captain.

“I’ve already got it covered,” he replied, snapping his fingers so some exotic drink from a far distant planet appeared in his hand.

Kathryn gave him a pointed look before steering him towards an empty table. They both sat down at the table, setting their drinks on the flat surface. 

“What?” he asked, noticing the look she was giving him.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied, coyly looking away.

“No, what’s wrong?” he demanded. 

“You couldn’t live without your Q abilities, could you?” asked, raising a single eyebrow.

“Of course I could,” he retorted indignantly 

She chuckled as she watched the party goers enjoying themselves. He grabbed her hand, placing a kiss on the back of it as he stared intently into her eyes.

“If you were by my side I could do anything,” he professed.

She gently squeezed his hand as she smiled radiantly at him. She saw his eyes flicker over her shoulder before he brought her hand back to his mouth. She tried to turn but he placed his free hand on her cheek, caressing her. 

“What is it?” she asked, thoroughly confused by his actions.

“Your first officer is glaring at us. I’m surprised you can’t feel him boring holes in the back of your head,” he growled as he continued to caress her. 

“Just ignore him,” she ordered, watching his facial expressions shift from love to something akin to hatred and back again. 

“How can I when he’s looking at you like that?” he fumed, glaring over her shoulder.

She placed her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

“Because if you’re looking at me then I won’t even notice him,” she replied looking into his eyes lovingly. 

He grinned at her, focusing all his attention back on her. She gently kissed the hand entwined with hers. 

“He can only disturb us if we let him. Let’s not let him,” she whispered, drawing her hands from him.

“You’re right, Kathy. How can you always know exactly what to do?” he asked, looking at her with love.

“It’s in my job description,” she replied, smirking at him.

He chuckled as he grabbed her hand again. 

“Q, we can’t be so open,” she chastised, pulling her hand away from his. 

“Why? Because your crew will think less of you? I think they know what’s going on,” he replied, grabbing her hand once again. 

“And whose fault is that?” she asked, trying to contain a giggle but failing.

“At least you’re happy,” he replied, gazing at her with a smile in his eyes as he placed his other hand on her cheek again. 

“You make me happy,” she answered, nuzzling her nose into his palm. 

“I’m glad,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb in absent minded circles on her hand.

“Hey guys,” a voice interrupted them

Both looked up to find Tom standing there with B’Elanna, grinning like a mad man. Harry was standing a little behind them looking incredibly uncomfortable. 

“Hi Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, why don’t you join us?” Kathryn offered, gesturing towards the empty seats. 

“Thanks,” Tom replied as he sat down.

The other two followed suite, sitting across from the couple. 

“So what’s been happening?” he asked, watching the couple closely.

“Nothing more than usual,” Kathryn responded smoothly. 

“Good party,” Q commented, looking around at the party goers.

“I think so,” Tom acknowledged.

“At least this one hasn’t gotten drunk this time,” B’Elanna teased, pointing at Tom.

“No one needs to see that again,” Kathryn agreed, chuckling at the memory of Tom doing an awkward strip tease on top of a table.

Tom blushed as everyone but Q, who didn’t see the last time Tom was drunk, laughed at his expense. 

“Yes, well, now that everyone’s had a good laugh at me how about we turn the conversation back to you two?” Tom interjected, looking pointedly at the couple across from him. 

“How about no?” Q retorted.

At the dejected look Tom has on his face Kathryn chuckled.

“Don’t look so put out Tom. Did you actually expect us to say yes to that?” she asked good naturedly.

“Well, no, but a guy can hope can’t he?” Tom replied cheekily. 

“Not about this,” she responded before taking a sip of her wine. 

“Good evening Captain, Lieutenant, Lieutenant, Ensign, Q,” Tuvok greeted the group

“Good evening, Tuvok. Would you care to join us?” Kathryn offered.

“Thank you, Captain,” he replied as he sat next to her. 

Soon tables were moved out of the way for people to dance to the music that had faintly been playing in the background. A few couples were dancing, happily lost in their partner. 

“Would you care to dance, Kathy?” Q whispered in her ear. 

“Come on,” she grinned, pulling him up and over to the dance floor.

He slipped his arms around her waist as she wrapped her arms around her neck. They moved in time to the music as they moved closer together. He gazed lovingly down at her, breathing in her scent. She gently played with the strands of hair at the base of his neck. 

“You’re quite distracting,” he commented, smiling down at her.

“You like it really,” she smirked up at him.

“As long as I can distract you too,” he murmured into her ear, dragging his fingers along her spine. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be so distracting in public,” she suggested.

“If you wish,” he replied as he stilled his hands. 

She gently lay her head on his shoulder, relaxing in his arms. 

“You’re so beautiful, Kathy,” he whispered into her hair.

As the couple continued to dance Tuvok made his way over the bar where the Doctor was standing with Chakotay. 

“Commander, Doctor,” he greeted, joining their small group.

“Tuvok,” the Doctor greeted in return. Chakotay continued to watch the happy couple dancing. 

“The Captain looks happy,” the Doctor commented, watching the couple also. 

“Indeed,” Tuvok replied, watching the couple himself now.

Both people did indeed look happy. Kathryn was allowing herself to laugh freely and show affection for Q. Q himself also seemed to be enjoying himself. All three people could see the way he was looking at her, as if all his wishes had come true but he couldn’t quite believe it. Chakotay growled as he continued to watch them. 

He’s good for her,” the Doctor decided.

“How so?” Tuvok asked.

“He gets her to relax which she didn’t do much before. He also makes sure she eats and having the relationship is good for her mental health. Yes, Q is good for her,” he concluded.

“I tend to agree,” Tuvok stated, watching as the couple danced together.

“How can you say he’s good for her? He’s just using her. He’ll break her heart and leave her for dead,” Chakotay fumed. 

“I believe his intentions are as we see them,” Tuvok replied.

“I agree with Tuvok on this, Commander. You can see it in the way he looks at her. It’s not something you can fake,” the Doctor explained. 

“I still don’t trust him,” Chakotay retorted, turning back to the couple.

He watched as they stopped dancing and made their way back to their original table. They joined the group, talking and laughing with the people who had congregated there.

“He’s watching us again, Kathy,” Q whispered in her ear, glancing over her shoulder.

“And we shall continue to ignore him,” she replied, moving into his embrace.

They continued to talk with the group for a little while longer as the party started to wind down before mutually deciding to leave. 

“Tom, we’re going to leave now. I hope you had a wonderful birthday,” Kathryn wished.

“Thank you, Captain. Enjoy your night,” Tom responded before going back to B’Elanna.

The couple walked out of the holodeck hand in hand. 

“You looked lovely tonight,” Q complimented her as they walked.

“Thank you, Q,” she replied, smiling up at him.

“And for a minor bipedal species, that wasn’t too bad a party,” he commented in an offhand manner.  
“Yes, that was one of Voyager’s better parties,” she agreed.

“Of course, my opinion may be to do with the wonderful company I found myself in,” he acknowledged, glancing down at her.

“Yes, Tom is wonderful company,” she teased, smirking at the put out look on his face, “of course, I wouldn’t trade you for him in the dancing department.”

“Yes, I can bust a move, as you humans say,” he grinned. 

“Mm, are you coming in?” she asked as she keyed in her access code.

“You should sleep, Kathy,” he answered in way of a reply.

“Just for a minute,” she responded, pulling him inside.

He gently took her into his arms and hugged her close. 

“You really do have to sleep,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

“You made the evening wonderful,” she mumbled, looking into his eyes.

“Only for you, love,” he replied.

He slowly leaned down and captured her lips in a searing kiss. She quickly responded but before the kiss could become deeper he pulled back.

“Goodnight, my dearest Kathy,” he whispered, before disappearing in a brilliant flash of light. 

She sighed at his disappearance and walked into her bedroom to get ready for bed. As she slipped between the sheets she smiled at the memories of dancing with Q and wondered when he would hold her that close again.   
 


	15. Chapter 15

Kathryn was quietly reading in her quarters after a relatively trying day when Q flashed in unexpectedly. She looked up at him as he started pacing around her quarters excitedly. 

“What’s going on?” she asked expectantly.

“Oh Kathy, it’s such a wonderful idea,” he exclaimed.

“What is, Q?” she inquired.

“You’re really going to love it,” he said.

“Love what?” she demanded, starting to get annoyed at his avoidance of answering her questions.   
“It’s going to be so much fun. I shall enjoy it this time, I think. Oh yes, yes, I shall enjoy it,” he mumbled as he continued to pace. 

“Q, unless you’re going to tell me what it is you’re blathering on about would you please leave,” she requested. 

“Kathy, you wouldn’t send me away when I’ve had the best idea that’s ever been thought of,” he declared, finally taking a seat next to her.

“I will unless you tell me this idea of yours,” she replied as he laced his fingers through hers.

“Kathy, why don’t I stay on Voyager as a human,” he suggested, looking excited at the prospect.

“What?” she exclaimed, standing at ridiculousness of his idea.

“Yes, it will be wonderful. Imagine coming home to someone who loves you, being able to see me whenever you want to instead of calling for me. It’s the greatest idea ever,” he proclaimed. 

“No, it’s not. I know what happened while you were human on the Enterprise. I refuse to let that happen to my ship and crew,” she barked.

“But that won’t happen. I would rather blink out of existence than have you put in a dangerous situation and if I remember correctly I gave myself up in a gallantly unselfish gesture. Do you trust me?” he asked, giving her the puppy dog eyes.

“You know I do but that doesn’t change the fact that you could get this ship put in danger. I know you won’t mean to but there are some things you can’t control, especially when you’re human,” she explained, refusing to look at him, knowing she’d give in if she did.

“That won’t happen this time. I promise. If it does I will leave you and never return if you so wish. Please trust me here, Kathy. Nothing will happen,” he reassured, standing to follow her across the room.

“How can you be so sure? Be honest, you have no idea what will happen if I allow you to remain on my ship as a human,” she countered.

“You’re right, I can’t be certain but won’t the good outweigh the bad?” he inquired.

“If you caused this ship to be put in danger then no matter the good, the bad will be too extreme to outweigh anything,” she spat.

“I’ll make sure your ship isn’t put in danger. I’ll do preliminary preparation before I become human. Everything will be fine, I promise,” he implored, desperate for her to say yes.

“Give me some time to think about it. I’m not saying I’m going to say yes but I will think about it,” she proposed. 

“Oh, Kathy, I knew you’d come round,” he exclaimed, grabbing her hands.

“I haven’t said yes,” she countered. 

He smirked at her before quickly kissing her. With a snap of his fingers he disappeared in a flash of light, leaving a confused Kathryn to ponder the room before her. 

Days passed and she was no closer to an answer than the night Q suggested his idea. As she often did when she was having trouble with a problem she consulted Tuvok. She called him into her quarters so they could discuss the situation.

“Q has suggested that he may stay on Voyager as a human,” Kathryn explained as they sat on her couch.

“And you are uneasy about this?” Tuvok asked.

“Yes, I’ve read what happened on the Enterprise when he was let loose as a human. I can’t let that happen to Voyager,” she emphasized. 

“Can you be sure that Voyager will be put in danger?” he inquired.

“No, but it is a possibility,” she replied.

“What would be the purpose of Q being on board?” he questioned.

“My happiness,” she answered sheepishly, as he raised a single eyebrow.

“As I see it, the possible dangers outweigh the certain advantages, but as always, Captain, the decision is left to you,” he responded.

“But is it a certain advantage?” she asked, truly confused.

“Q makes you happy, having on board will also make you happy, therefore it is certain that this suggestion will bring you happiness,” he replied in a logical manner.

“But what of the dangers? I should be putting the crew before my own pleasure and if there is a chance of danger I shouldn’t do it,” she retorted.

“The dangers aren’t a certainty but if you feel like they are more probable than your happiness you should make a decision that supports that,” he countered. 

“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” she murmured.

“I shall see you tomorrow on the bridge,” he said, rising from the couch.

“Thank you, Tuvok, have a nice evening,” she replied, watching him leave her quarters.

She sat in thought for a while, unable to make up her mind on the matter. On the one hand she would love to have Q aboard as human but on the other he could put her ship and its crew in danger. Without being able to come up with an answer she decided it would be best to go over Picard’s logs from when Q was human on the Enterprise. She had to admit, it didn’t look good. But her situation was completely different. He wasn’t being exiled and no one was after him as far as she knew. Maybe it would work out but there was always that small possibility that something would go wrong. 

As time continued to pass the hour started to grow late. Having made little head way with the problem as the same arguments kept floating around her head she left her couch and walked into the bathroom. A nice warm, relaxing bubble bath should help or at least, not make anything worse.

She sunk down into the bubble and the warmth and allowed her muscles to relax. She closed her eyes, leaning her head back on the edge of the bath. Her mind began to wander, exploring the what ifs of her situation with Q and all the wonderful things that had happened.

Without warning a flash brought her back to the real world. 

“Q,” she exclaimed, finding the omnipotent being in her bathroom, looking down at her with a smirk on his face.

“Is this your way of giving me the good news? Because I’m enjoying the view incredibly,” he leered, watching her struggle for words.

“Get out of my bathroom,” she shrieked, trying to cover anything he could see.

“But, Kathy, you look quite lovely like this,” he teased, his eyes roaming over her covered body.

“Get out,” she barked, glaring at him.

“As you wish,” he sighed, snapping out of the room. 

Kathryn sighed as she rose from the tepid water, reaching for a towel. She dried herself off and wrapped herself in her robe. She walked out of the bathroom and into the main room where Q was waiting for her. She watched as his eyes roamed over her body, drinking in the sight of her in the robe. 

“Why were you in my bathroom, Q?” she demanded, annoyed at his sudden and unexpected appearance.

“I thought you called me, obviously I was mistaken,” he replied, reaching for her.

“Obviously,” she spat, moving out of his reach.

“Don’t be like that, Kathy. I would have never appeared if I thought you hadn’t wanted me to,” he reasoned, moving towards her again.

“Yes, well, that doesn’t mean you should have appeared in my bathroom of all places,” she barked, turning from him.

“I just thought you might have an answer. I’m desperate to hear it,” he pleaded, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

“Well, I don’t so please leave to give me time to think,” she demanded, shrugging his hands off of her.

“Please, Kathy. Let me stay with you,” he implored, wrapping her securely in his embrace.

“Q,” she warned, leaning her head back onto his shoulder.

“Mm?” he asked before leading her over to the couch.

She cuddled up to his body, allowing him to hold her close. He nuzzled her hair, placing a soft kiss to her temple. She breathed out a happy sigh, moving further into his embrace.

“Imagine if this could happen every night without question,” he whispered into her hair, “wouldn’t you be happy?”

“Yes, but you still could put my ship in danger,” she replied slightly sleepily.

“What if I told you Junior has agreed to keep your ship safe while I’m on board?” he asked.

“He would do that?” she inquired, drawing back to look into his eyes.

“He wants to see you happy as much as I do. He agreed that if I was stay on board Voyager as human he would look out for your ship and crew,” she replied, searching her eyes for answers.

“I would like it if you were on board all the time,” she murmured.

“Then allow me to,” he pleaded, drawing her close once again. 

“Okay, but please try not to annoy my crew,” she requested, leaning her head back on his shoulder.

“Oh, Kathy,” he exclaimed, clicking his fingers to make two glasses of champagne appear in his hands.

He handed her one of the glasses before raising his in a toast.

“To a happy future,” he proposed.

She clinked her glass against his before taking a sip. She leaned back against him as she continued to drink the cool liquid. He gently pulled her closer, almost into his lap. 

“Q,” she protested, trying to pull back.

“Yes, my love?” he innocently asked her.

She only chuckled in response as she placed her glass on the coffee table. He slowly leaned down, brushing his lips over hers. She pressed hers against his in a bruising kiss, pushing her body into his. He groaned at the feel of her body against his, snapping his fingers to get rid of his glass. He allowed his hands to roam over her back as he plunged his tongue into her mouth. She moaned under his touch, pushing herself further into his hands. He gently pushed her onto the couch until he was hovering over her, making sure none of his weight was on her. She grabbed him, pulling him down onto her. He began to nibble at her neck eliciting gasps from her. She stretched her neck back, giving him better access to continue his ministrations.

“Thank you,” he whispered in her ear.

“You’re welcome,” she groaned into his mouth. 

“I should go,” he murmured, breaking away from her.

“Must you?” she asked, holding onto him.

“You need sleep, dearest Kathy,” he said, pulling completely away from him.

“You’re right,” she admitted.

“Then I shall take my leave,” he answered, getting ready to snap his fingers.

“Goodbye, Q,” she said, leaning up to quickly kiss him.

“I shall see you soon,” he replied, before disappearing in his customary flash of light.

She sighed as she sat back on the couch.

“Janeway to Tuvok,” she hailed, tiredly.

“Tuvok here, Captain,” he replied.

“Could you come to my quarters?” she asked.

“On my way,” he responded before cutting the comm. line. 

She waited a few minutes for Tuvok to get to her quarters, almost slipping into sleep. She hadn’t realised she had been so tired. Her door chimed, signalling the arrival of Tuvok.

“Come,” she called, allowing his entrance.

He walked into her quarters, looking around to find her in the darkened room.

“Over here, Tuvok,” she said, grabbing his attention.

“What can I do for you, Captain?” he asked, turning towards her.

“Make sure the ship is ready for Q’s arrival. He should be here within the next few days,” she told him.

“Of course, Captain,” he answered, turning to leave.

“Oh, and Tuvok, could you tell the Commander about this latest development?” she requested.

“Of course,” he replied before leaving her quarters.

Kathryn slowly rose from the couch and walked into her bedroom. She slipped her robe from her body and climbed between the sheets. She was asleep in an instant, a smile gracing her features as she dreamed wonderful dreams.


	16. Chapter 16

Kathryn was quietly sitting in her room one night when her door chimed.

“Come,” she called out, wondering who could be at her door.

The doors opened to allow a very human Q to walk into the room. He sat down beside her as she smiled at him.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi,” he whispered back before hugging her close.

She relaxed against his body comparing this body to his omnipotent body. It was warmer and slightly softer than the body he created. She could also smell his scent. She hadn’t been able to do that before and she was finding it incredibly arousing. 

“How is it, Q? What’s it feel like being human?” she asked.

“It’s odd, to say the least. There are many things I’m not used to, such as having to collect things, not just make them appear. But despite the few problems I’ve encountered I’m happy. I think it’s because I chose it this time and I get to spend my time with you,” he smiled down at her. 

“I’m sorry it was so horrible for you on the Enterprise,” she murmured into his shoulder.

“As long as it got me here, I can’t resent the time,” he said before kissing her temple. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” she admitted.

He chuckled as he watched her learn about his new body. 

“How different is it to be human?” she asked, taking his hand in her own.

“It is incomparably tiny. I can feel how insignificant I am. But there are good things about it too. I used to think what I felt for and with you was strong but now… it’s indescribable. Everything is stronger when there’s less to think about. And you, I feel as if I may explode if I can’t touch you,” he explained, gently touching her face as he stared deeply into her eyes.

“Now you know how hard it was for me when you kept trying to win my affections,” she teased.

“Yes,” he replied before swooping down and claiming her lips. 

She moaned into his mouth, drawing him closer to her. He slowly drew away, looking into her eyes.

“How was your day Kathy?” he asked, gently drawing away from her.

“Better now that you’re here,” she answered as she reached from him.

“I’m being serious, Kathy,” he chastised. 

“It was okay. Tom and Harry are just too much sometimes though. I wish you could have been there on the bridge today when they pulled their practical joke on Tuvok. They were acting as innocent as babes, casually talking about, you know, I can’t even remember what they were talking about now. But the moment Tuvok began running his analysis of the photon torpedoes music began to quietly play. No one would have heard it if Tuvok hadn’t paused in his duties. As he continued to work it got progressively louder until the whole bridge was thrumming with the music. Tuvok just couldn’t get it to stop no matter how he tried. The whole bridge was laughing. Tuvok didn’t find it amusing at all and tried to chastise us all. I really wish you had been there, you would have enjoyed it,” she laughed.

He watched her laugh, joy radiating through his body. She slowly calmed down, reaching forward for him again. He let her pull him forward until they were lying on the couch, holding each other loosely. 

“Sounds like you had a good day,” he observed.

“It would have been perfect if Chakotay hadn’t talked to me,” she muttered, darkly.

“What did he say?” he asked lightly, as if what he said would have no effect on him.

“Nothing of importance. No more than he usually says. It wouldn’t matter what he said, it would always bring down my day. You don’t have anything to worry about,” she reassured him.

“So how are you?” he inquired.

“I’m better now that you’re here,” she replied easily, looking up into his eyes. 

“I’m glad to hear that I brighten your day,” he smirked.

“You always did, no matter how I acted,” she answered. 

“I’m glad,” he genuinely smiled at her. 

“Would you like some dinner?” she asked, quite randomly in his opinion.

“Um… Sure,” he replied, confused.

“Great,” she answered, getting up from his embrace.

He watched her walk over to her replicator and call up for a meal. She walked over to the table, setting down the plates in place. She sat in one of the chairs, looking expectantly at him. 

“Are you going to sit there all night or are you going to join me?” she teased. 

He started before standing up and walking over to the table to stand over her, looking down at her.

“I think I’d be happier if I could watch you all night,” he whispered.

She blushed, looking down at her food. He chuckled at her reaction as he sat in his seat.

“I’m sure this will be wonderful,” he said, looking down at the dish.

“I hope so,” she replied, looking up at him.

He picked up the fork and began to eat the meal before him. She watched as he took the first bite. The smile on his face caused her to relax and begin to eat herself. They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes, enjoying being in each other’s company. 

“I had a most interesting experience today,” Q supplied, breaking the silence.

“Hm? What happened?” she asked, watching him once again.

“One of your crew members tried to engage me in idle conversation as I walked here,” he replied as he continued to eat.

“Yes, that often happens on a ship this small. People do tend to try and be friendly,” she answered, going back to her own dinner. 

“It wasn’t like this on the Enterprise. I wasn’t expecting them to be friendly while I was here,” he admitted. 

“I’ll be honest, I told the crew to treat you as they would any guest on this ship,” she confessed, embarrassedly looking away. 

“I’m hoping the way you treat me isn’t the way you treat all the guests you receive,” he joked.

“I must admit, I’ve probably given you better quarters but I treat you no different than any other guest,” she teased back. 

“And while I must admit, they are lovely quarters. I doubt I’ll really need them,” he said as they both finished their meal.

“And why’s that?” she asked, standing up to recycle the plates.

“With your quarters here with you in them, why would I need quarters of my own?” he pointed out, standing as well and following her to the couch once again. 

She laughed at his comment, leaning back on the couch.

“As a guest you are given quarters and expected to sleep in them. I don’t see how my quarters and my whereabouts come into this equation,” she replied, looking at him with a smirk.

“Well, as you’re here and I plan on spending my nights with you, your quarters and your whereabouts are very important,” he retorted, leaning over her on the couch. 

“And your quarters would then be –“ she was cut off by his lips being pushed against hers.

She moaned against his lips as he pushed her onto her back. His hands began to wander down her body, eliciting a gasp from her. She clutched at his back as he began a trail of kisses down her neck causing her to arch her neck to give him better access. He began to suck on the spot behind her ear as she clawed at his back. She locked her legs around his waist, pushing her heat into his abdomen. He groaned into her neck as she nipped at his neck. She captured her in a searing kiss while his hands pinned hers above her head. 

“Q,” she moaned as he went back to working on her neck. 

He nipped her earlobe causing her to gasp. She urgently struggled against his hold, desperate to touch him. He moved his hands so only one was holding both of hers and started to slip his hand under her shirt, causing her to shiver. He squeezed her breast making her arch up into his touch. To continue his exploration he lets go of her hands and begins to push her shirt up.

Without warning she pushes him off her and sits up. 

“What’s wrong, Kathy?” he asks, trying to control his breathing. 

“You can’t distract me that easily. We need to find you something to do while you stay here,” she declares, having trouble to regain her breath as well. 

“I have something to do,” he replies, sliding his hand up her thigh.

“I meant productive for the ship,” she said before he could interrupt her.

“A happy captain makes for a happy crew,” he replied, leaning in to kiss her again.

“I need you to be serious here. You need to be useful,” she sighed.

“Well, no one knows this universe as well as I do. Well, at least no one on this ship does,” he answered thoughtfully. 

“Maybe you could work with Seven and plot out journey,” she suggested.

“Ah, yes, your resident Borg, how is she?” he asked casually.

“She’s fine,” she said quietly. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, concerned at the sudden silence.

“As fine as everything can be,” she replied.

He gently kissed her, threading his hands through her hair. She kissed back, pulling him into her embrace. She lay back on the couch, bringing him with her until he was hovering over her. He began to kiss down her neck eliciting gasps from her. He pushed his growing arousal into her stomach. She groaned at the feeling of him pressing into her. She felt the heat begin to pool between her legs once again as she pulled him completely on top of her. He moaned at the feeling of her body pressed against his.

“I think you should take me to bed,” she whispered into his ear.

He swiftly picked her up and carried her into the bedroom where they spent the rest of the night making passionate love.


	17. Chapter 17

“Come in,” Kathryn called out when her door chime sounded.

A morose looking Chakotay walked into her ready room, casting a glance in her direction before returning his gaze to the floor. She gestured for him to sit. As he situated himself before her he allowed his gaze fall on her once again. 

“What can I do for you, Commander?” she asked as she continued to look over her PADD.

“I was hoping I could properly apologize to you for the way I’ve been behaving. I was hoping you would meet me in Holodeck 2 at 1900 hours so I could try to begin to make everything up to you. I know it probably won’t help but I was hoping…” he trailed off, dropping his gaze again.

“I suppose it would be good to have a working relationship again,” she murmured thoughtfully. 

“So will you meet me tonight?” he asked anxiously.

“Yes but only to improve out professional relationship,” she replied, slightly icily. 

“Wonderful, I’ll see you at 1900 hours,” he said as he walked out of the room.

When 1900 rolled around, Kathryn walked into the holodeck thoroughly confused. The program running depicted a dimly lit room with a small table situated in the middle of the room. A vase with two bright red roses held within it was resting on the middle of the table. Off to the side of the room a large king sized bed was waiting for who knows what. Her mind was immediately filled with suspicion. She heard the doors open behind her and spun around.

“Kathryn, I’m so glad you made it. Have a seat,” Chakotay said as he walked towards her.

She sat at the table and watched him walk past her to a replicator. He walked back with two plates and a bottle of wine. She watched him set up a romantic meal before her, her suspicion growing with every second.

“This is a program I’ve been creating to use with Seven. I thought tonight would be a good time to try it out. If you think anything should be changed would you let me know. I want everything to be perfect for her when she sees it,” he explained as he continued to serve her. 

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” she muttered, looking around the room again.

He began to eat the food he’d set before himself, motioning her to do the same. She reluctantly began to eat, wondering what this was really about. She watched him wearily, slowly watching as he had a sip of wine.

“I wish to apologize for the way I acted the last time we met. It was horrible. I can’t understand what I was thinking. I’d been drinking and wasn’t in control of my senses. I am so sorry. If I could undo it all I would but unfortunately I can’t. All I can do is apologize and hope that someday I’ll earn your forgiveness. So please, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” he professed grandly.

All she could do was stare at him. Was he out of his mind? How could he think she could ever forgive him? Although, appearing as a unit on the bridge would be beneficial for the crew. It would be good for everyone involved. 

“I can’t forgive you at this point in time but I believe it would be for the good of the crew if we were seen as a unit,” she proposed. 

“Of course, whatever you think is best,” he conceded, looking down into his food sadly. 

She slowly went back to eating the food in front of her, not really hungry but appreciative that Chakotay wasn’t forcing anything on her. She pushed the food around on her plate with her fork, watching the man across from her devour the food on his plate. She couldnt believe she was ever attracted to him. She was so much happier with the person she ended up with than she ever could have been with him. He stood from the table once his plate was clear.

“Are you done?” he asked, motioning to her plate. 

“Yeah,” she replied standing as well.

He moved the plates off to the side as she made her way to the door.

“Thank you for the food and for the apology. I should go, Q will be waiting for me,” she said, moving towards the doors of the holodeck. 

“I should thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me. It was so kind after everything I’ve put you through,” he hurriedly exclaimed, rushing in front of her.

“Yes, well,” she muttered. 

Without warning he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards his body. She let out a squeak of surprise before he crushed his lips to hers. After the initial shock wore off she pushed against his chest, trying to get him to release her without much luck. The angle with which her arms were pinned between them didn’t give her room to push or do anything that would help her. She tried to move her head away from his but he followed her movements, drawing her closer and tighter to his body. 

As she tried to make him release her again she heard the doors to the holodeck swish open. Chakotay released her, smiling down at her angered and shocked expression, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. She turned away from him to see the person standing in the doorway. Q’s face wore an expression of hurt and anger before sadness washed it all away as he turned from the doorway and walking back down the corridor.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she yelled at Chakotay as she turned back towards him.

“You’re not right for each other. I was trying to show you how good we’d be together,” he explained, the gloating clear in his voice. 

“Are you forgetting you’re dating Seven? You have no right to interfere in my personal life. This isn’t up to you Chakotay. This whole thing is between Q and I and you have no right to step between us. You have crossed too many lines to count, not only tonight but since this whole experience started. Just, stay away from us,” she shouted before leaving the holodeck and walking back to her quarters, hoping, but not expecting, that Q would be there. 

She entered her quarters to find them empty and devoid of any sort of feeling. She turned tail and walked out the door.

“Computer, what is the location of Q?” she called as walked along the corridor.

“Q is in his quarters,” the computer replied in its monotonous voice.

Kathryn hurried off down the hallway in search of Q, hoping he would forgive her for everything he had just witnessed.  


	18. Chapter 18

Kathryn pushed the chime next to Q’s door, hoping without reason that he would answer. She rested against the wall, sighing through her nose, desperate to make everything right. When she was unexpectedly granted access she jumped, startled by the noise. She walked into the room, her eyes trying to adjust to the lower level of lighting. She looked around the room, making out silhouettes around the room. Q was standing in front of the window, looking out at the stars passing by, his shoulder hunched in on himself. 

“Q?” she said, resting her hand on his back.

“What do you want, Captain?” he asked, anger lacing his voice. 

“To explain,” she whispered.

“Explain what? That you’re leaving me for Chuckles? That was pretty obvious. There’s no need for an explanation,” he fumed, refusing to turn to face her.

“That’s not it at all,” she cried, removing her hand from his back.

“So what you’re saying is you’re not leaving me for Chuckles but you thought it would be a good idea to kiss him,” he roared, finally turning around to meet her eye.

“I would never do that to you,” she said.

“Then how can you possibly explain?” he asked, a sadness creeping up in his voice.

“He asked me to join him for dinner so he could apologize. I really believed that’s all he wanted. I see now it was all just a ruse to break us up. It was foolish of me to believe him. He planned it all. I swear to you that I would never cheat on you with him. Not now, not ever,” she explained, her eyes coming to rest on the carpet.

“How can I believe you?” he asked, his voice growing quiet.

“Because I love you,” she shouted before being stunned into silence by the suddenness of the proclamation.

She saw his body stiffen in surprise before erupting in motion. Before she could think of some way to make the situation less awkward he swept her up in an embrace. He lifted her head and crashed his lips into hers. She gasped at the sudden change in his demeanour, allowing his tongue to plunder her mouth. She moaned, grasping him closer to her body, pushing her hands into his hair. He groaned, grasping her hips, pulling them towards his. She broke apart from him, gasping for breath, pushing him a few millimetres away from her. He grinned at her, breathing heavily as he tried to regain his breath. 

“Do you know how much I love you in this moment?” he asked rhetorically. 

“Probably as much as I love you,” she replied as she hugged him close.

“So how will we get Chuckles back?” he queried, nuzzling his nose in her hair. 

“We’re not,” she chuckled, hitting his chest lightly as he laughed into her hair.

“How about we-“ he began before she cut him off.

“Am I going to regret this?” she asked, before he could get another word in.

“You won’t, now stop worrying,” he said, leading her over to his couch where they got down to planning. 

 

The plan they came up with was simple but effective. For a week Kathryn acted as if she was ridiculously pissed off at Q while he tried to win her back. For every attempt she ignored him further until she was acting as if he was completely invisible and silent. They noticed that it was putting most of the crew on edge. Only Chakotay was gaining any enjoyment from the situation on the ship.   
Kathryn was pretty sure that Tuvok had cottoned on to the fact that the thing was simply an act. She noticed he always looked at them oddly, almost analytically, whenever he passed them. She was also sure that he knew that Q visited her every night after shift. It was over dinner one night when Q made his request.

 

“Kathy?” Q asked in the silence.

“Hmm,” she replied, looking up from the meal.

“Do you think we can move onto the next stage of our plan? I miss being with you during the day,” he said, watching her eat.

“What are you talking about, we spend all day together,” she accused, smirking at the look on his face.

“Yes, but you spend the day ignoring me. It puts a damper on the whole experience,” he muttered at her, annoyed.

“Of course we can, Q,” she chuckled. “After all, I think Chakotay has gained too much enjoyment from this. I’ve noticed Paris glaring at him.”

“Good, we shall begin tomorrow. I’ll come to the bridge at 1300 hours,” he agreed, clearing the empty plates from the table and putting them in the recycler. 

“I’ll be waiting,” she agreed, picking up a PADD as she sat on the couch.

He laughed as he sat beside her, watching her begin to read reports. She smiled at the attention he gave her, while she concentrated on the words on her PADD. As the night wore on he continued to watch her read, causing her to occasionally shift under his gaze. Eventually she flung her PADD to the side and launched herself at him. He caught her as her lips descended on his. As their tongues fought for dominance he picked her up and carried her off onto her bedroom.

 

That morning on the bridge it was unusually quiet. Kathryn watched the crew on the bridge shift in their positions, obviously thinking this was the calm before the storm. She calmly worked through the report situated in her hand, waiting for Q to make his grand entrance. It had been a frustrating morning. Absolutely nothing had happened all day apart from reports being handed in. She figured Q would be a nice distraction for everyone. It was then that Q decided to charge onto the bridge, rose in hand. He got down on one knee before her chair and offered the rose to her as she continued to go over the report.

“My dearest Kathryn, you are the light of my life, the one thing that keeps me going. Without you I have nothing. Before you I thought love was a mere child’s game, a diversion, but now I know how wrong I am. I can no longer function without you. If I can’t have you I will destroy myself. Life means nothing if you no longer look at me. Please, accept my apology and my love. I shall destroy myself without hesitation if you do not. Without you it will be as if I already had,” he cried into the silence.

She stood, towering over him menacingly, finally turning her gaze to him. She pulled him up until he was standing, getting ready to yell at him. Without warning she flung her arms around her neck and pulled his lips to hers. He reciprocated immediately, wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her into his body. She opened up under his insistence and fought with his tongue, battling for dominance. She smiled against his lips as she heard the gasps emanating from the people on the bridge, loudest of all being Chakotay’s. 

She broke off the kiss as she grabbed his hand. She led him off the bridge and into her ready room. As the door closed behind them they both burst out laughing. 

“Did you see their reactions?” Q gasped between laughs. 

“I thought poor Harry Kim was about to wet himself,” she wept into his shoulder.

“Chuckles looked as if he was in his own personal hell. It was perfect,” he chortled, pulling her with him to the couch.

“I don’t know what’s funnier, his initial reaction or his almost perfectly schooled features that made him look as if he was being strangled,” she giggled as she untangled herself from his grasp.

“I wish I could have a picture of his face,” he cried.

“Indeed,” she said, before ordering a coffee from the replicator.

“I say tonight we move onto the final stage. It seems only logically,” he said, finally calming down enough. 

“I tend to agree,” she said, sitting beside him with her steaming cup.

“I should leave otherwise who knows what your crew will think we’re doing in here,” he smirked, standing.

“It would be a good idea,” she agreed.

He lent down and quickly kissed her before striding out the door. She sighed and rested her head on the back of the couch, a smile lighting up her features. No sooner than Q had left there was a chime at the door.

“Come,” she called.

Tuvok entered wearing what could be considered a concerned expression.

“Tuvok, sit,” she smiled welcomely at him, gesturing to the space next to her. 

“I do not believe your display was logical,” he said, getting right to the point.

“For what was needed it was,” she replied, smiling at him.

At his pointed look she chuckled.

“Don’t worry, Tuvok. I know what I’m doing,” she reassured, patting his knee.

“As long as you are sure,” he said, slowly.

“I am, Tuvok. I am,” she replied confidently. 

Tuvok stood, turning towards her.

“I should get back to my station,” he stated, waiting for her dismissal.

She nodded, watching him walk out of her ready room. She sighed once again and went back to resting her head against the back of the couch.

 

Later that day, after shift, Kathryn and Q were sitting in the mess hall eating dinner. Their hands were clasped together on the table as they gazed at each other over their meal.

“Did you know you are the most beautiful woman in the universe?” he asked, watching her take a bite of the meal before them.

“I think you’re vision is distorted by your feelings,” she replied, smirking.

“Maybe, but I stand by my statement,” he said, finally going back to his meal.

She gently brought his hand to her mouth and kissed the back of it, sending a smile to him. She felt the glare Chakotay was sending their way. He chuckled and continued eating. 

Before long both plates were clean and put in the disposal. As they walked out he grabbed her hand, leading her past Chakotay’s table, allowing him to see how badly he failed. They walked through the halls, whispering to each other the whole way. They reached Kathryn’s quarters uninterrupted. While she keyed in her code he wrapped his arms around her. She laughed as he pulled her into the room, crushing his lips to hers as the door closed. As he continued to plunder her mouth she quickly led him into her bedroom for a night of passionate love.  
 


	19. Chapter 19

Kathryn was sitting in her ready room on a relatively calm day reading a report when her chime rang.

“Come,” she called, putting down her PADD.

Seven walked in looking slightly downcast but anger was in her stance. 

“What’s up, Seven?” she asked, worried.

“I’ve have ended my personal relationship with Commander Chakotay,” she said. 

“You broke up?” she questioned, surprised at the news.

“Yes,” replied Seven.

“Can I do anything for you?” Kathryn asked.

“It feels odd. I don’t understand,” she slowly said.

“Come sit, Seven,” she said, motioning to the couch, sitting on it herself. Seven sat beside her tensely.

“When you break up with someone it can be hard,” Kathryn began explaining. “It can leave you feeling empty or as if there is something missing for a long time afterwards. The only way to get over that feeling is to move on.”

“I don’t understand,” Seven repeated.

“How about you come to dinner tonight and we can talk about this in some more depth?” she suggested.

“I would like that,” she replied, standing up.

“Come to my quarters at 1900 hours,” Kathryn said.

Seven nodded in acknowledgement and walked out of the door. She pressed her comm. badge.

“Q, could you come to my ready room?” she asked.

“I’m already on my way,” he replied.

She smiled at the cheesiness of his reply. It only took a few minutes for Q to arrive at her ready room. As soon as he walked in he placed his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him.

“Q,” she warned, extracting herself from his grip.

“Yes?” he replied, trying to pull her closer. 

“I’m still on duty,” she chastised, moving away from her again.

“And I still love you,” he said.

“I have to ask you a favour,” she said, sitting down behind her desk.

“Yes, I will always be your midnight booty call,” he deadpanned.

She laughed. “All I wanted was to have my quarters to myself tonight.”

“Are you kicking me out? Are you saying that we are over? Oh, you cut into my poor little Q heart,” he cried, over dramatically.

“I’ve agreed with Seven to have dinner with her tonight. I just need my quarters for a couple of hours without you,” she explained.

“Why are you having dinner with Seven?” he asked curiously.

“We need to discuss some things. I’ll tell you after dinner,” she said, giving him a quick peck on the lips before shooing him out of the room.

 

Later that night Kathryn was putting the final touches to dinner when Seven rang the doorbell. Looking at the chronometer she made note of the fact that she was exactly on time. She called for her to enter and Seven strode into the room. 

“Hi,” Kathryn greeted as she put down the last dish.

“Good evening,” Seven replied, making her way over to the table.

She gestured to one of the seats, taking the other one. Seven looked uncomfortable sitting down at the table, looking over the food on the table.

“Nothing’s going to bite,” she joked, startling Seven.

Kathryn began to serve them both food and poured them both a glass of red wine. When both of their plates were full Kathryn began talking.

“So, how do you feel?” she asked Seven. 

“Odd. I don’t like it,” she replied softly.

“That’s normal at the end of a relationship. After sharing so much of yourself with one person when they no longer play a significant part in your life you tend to feel alone and odd. The first break up is always the worst. After all, it’s the first time you’ve ever had to deal with the feeling of losing a person like that. All you do is try to move on,” Kathryn explained as they began to eat.

“I am unsure of how to ‘move on,’” Seven uncomfortably admitted. 

“It can be tricky. I think it may be easier for you as you were the one to break off the relationship. Just try to spend time with people you like, doing things you enjoy. Soon enough everything will be back to normal. I won’t say it will be like it never happened because it won’t but you’ll feel like your old self again,” she said.

They sat in silence for a moment as Seven digested the information she had just been fed. 

“I think I understand,” she said as she continued to eat. 

“I’m glad you made some sense of what I told you,” Kathryn replied as she finished her meal.

She began to clean up the table, stacking everything next to the Recycler. 

“Thank you for the meal,” Seven said, standing up

“You’re most welcome. I hope I helped,” Kathryn said, walking her to the door.

With a nod Seven walked out of the door, not looking back as it closed behind her. Kathryn sighed as she shuffled over the couch and flopped down onto it, her head buried in a cushion. She only had a moment of silence before her door chime went off. She slowly stood from the couch and answered the door. Q immediately walked in, looking around the room, as if able to catch a glimpse of what had transpired just a few moments earlier. 

“Usually you wait to be invited in,” Kathryn smirked as she put the empty dishes into the recycler.

“How’d it go?” he asked, obviously beyond curious.

“My, aren’t you nosy today?” she teased as he dragged her to the couch. He pulled her down so she was situated in his lap, leaning into his chest. “For your information, everything is perfect in the world.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“Only that Seven broke off her relationship with Chakotay yesterday,” she said, smiling into the crook of his neck.

“That is wonderful news,” he replied, almost laughing at the turn of events. He gently pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he pulled his arms snugly around her lithe body. 

“I wonder why she ended it,” she mused.

“She probably woke up to what a horrible person he is,” he said, allowing a chuckle to pass his lips.

“Or maybe he tried to force her to do something she didn’t want to do,” she said, a sombre tone filling her voice.

“If he did you could lock him up in the brig for the rest of the journey home,” he suggested.

“I’m sure it was a simple reason, nothing horrible. I genuinely believe he cared for her,” she replied.

“I’m sure whatever reason she had was perfectly reasonable. She is a smart enough woman,” he said. “I think it’s nice that you’re finding your way back together.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t approve of Seven,” she asked, surprised by his words.

“As long as she makes you happy I would never disapprove of it. While I may not like the fact she was a former drone she has proved herself to be an adequate friend to you. I say you should try to regain your friendship now you’re on the same page again,” he said, stroking her hair lightly as she yawned. “You’re tired.”

“I suppose I am. Talking about relationships is rather taxing,” she agreed, stretching.

“Come on,” he said pulling her to her feet. “You need to sleep.”

“Okay,” she agreed, following behind him.

 

The next morning Kathryn was sitting on the bridge watching space pass them by. It was way past the time for her shift to start and she was never so distracted by an empty chair. No one had seen Chakotay since his shift ended yesterday. Harry Kim kept glancing at his chair every few minutes, seemingly as distracted as she was by the hole in their daily activities. It was Tuvok that noticed the lift first. 

Chakotay came stumbling from the confines of the lift to find every gaze on the bridge was directed his way. His clothes were rumpled, as if he hadn’t changed since yesterday and his hair looked uncombed. The dark rings under his eyes were a stark contrast to his surprisingly pale face. His whole countenance was screaming sad. As he walked past her chair, Kathryn caught a whiff of alcohol almost radiating from him. She allowed a few minutes for him to get comfortable in his chair before calling him into her ready room. He followed her most unwillingly, his feet dragging against the carpet. 

“It is unacceptable for one of my senior staff to arrive to work late,” she said the moment the door closed behind them.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” he promised, looking down.

“It better not, or I’ll let Tuvok take care of your punishment,” she replied, motioning for him to leave. 

Every time she reappeared from her ready room, Chakotay was staring blankly at either the view screen or a PADD and often not noticing when someone tried to get his attention. He stayed silent for the whole of his shift, barley acknowledging the existence of anyone, prefer to spend the day lost in his own thoughts. An ever present frown marred his features, giving him a dark, brooding look that wasn’t attractive in any sense of the word. The moment shift ended he jumped from his chair and practically ran for the lift, not waiting for any sort of communication from the rest of the bridge crew. 

Kathryn followed at a more leisurely pace; knowing Q and Seven would wait for her before beginning the meal they had agreed on having earlier that day. As predicated they are both waiting just outside the doors to the mess hall, both obviously uncomfortable in the other’s presence. All three walk in together, talking about each of their days, which were relatively peaceful. They grab a small table for four and poke and prod at the food they’d been served by Neelix. 

“Do you think it’s edible?” Kathryn asks, smiling at the Talaxian’s efforts at cooking.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Kathy,” Q reassured, although looking unsure of his own meal. 

“Why is Commander Chakotay staring at us?” Seven asked.

“Because you’re here,” Kathryn replied simply. 

“I do not understand,” she said.

“You broke up with him. He’s taking the break up hard. He obviously wished to have you back but knows there probably isn’t anything he can do, so he stares at you sadly,” she explained, beginning to eat her meal.

“Why does he not just accept it?” Seven asked.

“When you care for someone it’s hard to accept that they don’t care for you in the same way, especially when they used to,” she explained again. 

“Okay,” she replied, eating her own meal now, watching Q devour the meal in front of him. 

The conversation petered out into silence as each person ate the odd food in front of them, soon enough clearing their plates. With no resistance from any of the surrounding crew they left the mess hall in a peaceful silence. 

“We should do this again,” Kathryn suggested as they were about to split up to go their separate ways.

“I would like that,” Seven replied.

“I’m up for it,” Q said cheerfully. 

“This time next week then?” Kathryn asked.

With the agreement they would meet for dinner again they went in different directions to their separate destinations. Q and Kathryn walked back to her quarters hand in hand at a relatively slow pace, taking their time to enjoy the nice night they’d been having. 

“When we get back can we just go to bed? I’m kinda tired,” she asked, leaning her head on him as the continued to walk.

“Whatever you wish, my love,” he said, punching in the access code to her quarters. And so he led her into their bedroom as she stifled a yawn.


	20. Chapter 20

“Kathy, I have just heard the most wonderful news,” Q cried as he raced into her ready room.

“What is it?” Kathryn asked, watching him over her cup of coffee.

He pulled her up from her chair as he continued to gabbled about a get together Tom Paris was hosting at Sandrine’s that night. His excitement pulsed off him in waves causing her to openly laugh. He laughed with her without breaking off his torrent of words, explaining why they had to go and enjoy themselves with the rest of the crew. Eventually she agreed to go to get him to leave her ready room so she could get some work done. 

Compared to the beginning of her day the rest passed in a monotonous silence. She swore she couldn’t think of anything more boring to do with her day than reading reports. So, when 1800 hours came around she was so happy for Q’s interruption she was practically pulling him out the door herself. 

They walked into the holodeck, watching all the people in there. It seemed most of the crew had turned up to have some fun. She watched as Tom made his way through the crowd to greet them. 

“HI Captain, Q. You up for a game of pool?” he asked, looking at her expectantly. 

“Not tonight, Tom. Maybe next time,” she said, smiling as he calmly accepted her response.

Q gently led her through the crowd to the bar where the Doctor was mixing drinks and chatting with anyone that stopped by. They both ordered their drinks as the talked to the hologram and people watched. 

“Everyone is rather happy tonight,” She commented absentmindedly.

Both men agreed with her as the continued to talk as she lost herself in thought. Her crew was happy. It was nice to see, everyone was getting on and talking. It was the first time in a long while that there was barley anyone unhappy on her ship and it made her feel as if she was doing everything right. Everywhere she looked there were happy faces and people laughing. She wanted to know why it couldn’t be like this all the time. After all, if anyone deserved some happiness it was her crew. They had worked so hard and for so long that they deserved such a relaxed atmosphere to be a part of and enjoy at the end of the day. 

“May I join you? Seven asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

“Of course,” she replied, glancing over at the Doctor. 

She saw as he walked over to the other end of the bar and serve another member of the crew, ignoring their group. Seven watched him ignore her, looking downcast at his snub. She couldn’t help wonder if they had had a fight. But them she remembered that Seven didn’t really fight and the Doctor wouldn’t ignore his friends. His feelings must be back in full force since Seven and Chakotay broke up. 

With that thought in her head she watched the doors whoosh open as Chakotay tried to slink in unnoticed. With the amount of attention he was gaining it was obvious just how much he didn’t want to be noticed. His shoulders hunched in on himself and he shuffled his feet all the way to an empty table in the corner. The Doctor sidled back up to them and glared over in the direction of Chakotay who looked very sorry for himself. 

“I’ll be back,” she said to Q, noticing the looks Tom and Harry were shotting in his direction. 

She navigated her way through the crew to them, watching as B’Elanna tried to talk to them.

“Tom, you’ve done a good job. Everyone seems to be having a good time,” she said walking up to them, trying to diffuse the tension. 

Luckily she drew their attention away from the black hole forming in the corner and towards her. B’Elanna smiled gratefully at her from behind their backs as both men visibly relaxed now they weren’t focused on the dark spot of the evening. They started to casually talk about small topics concerning the ship and its crew. It wasn’t much but it was her way of dodging the bullet and making sure no one got blown up in the aftermath. All she wanted was for everyone to be happy now that she had everything she could ever want. She didn’t want to be vindictive and jealous, she just wanted to be happy. And now that she had that she wanted to spread it to everyone else on her ship. 

She felt a pair of warm arms encircle her waist as she was talking to them. Instinctively she leant back into the strong chest, relaxing into the body of Q as he held her close. He joined in with the conversation, discussing his points on the ship and the crew. Mostly it was just gossip that Kathryn could talk about without really thinking to deeply about. 

“I’ve just got to get another drink,” Tom said, shaking the empty glass in their general direction. 

He leant against the bar as the Doctor refilled his glass. He was watching the new couple as the interacted with their friends. He notice Chakotay was glaring at them from his new position at the other end of the bar. His whole face showed the anger and resentment he felt at his situation. 

“I think the Commander shouldn’t be here if he’s just going to mope in the corner,” The Doctor commented, handing the drink back to him. 

“He lost a lot in a short space of time. I think he’s allowed to mourn,” he said, surprisingly calm and not sarcastic about the whole thing. Maybe this was what people thought empathy should be like all the time. 

“Do you think trying to cheer him up would help?” the Doctor asked, definitely sarcastic.

“It might be an idea,” he replied, genuinely. 

He gave the Doctor a look and walked down to the other end of the bar. He quickly sat beside the depressed man without asking him if her could. All he got was a glare and silence. He scoffed as he began to gulp down his drink, watching him nurse a glass of synthehol, staring into its depths as if it held all the answers. 

“Drinks don’t tell you anything useful,” Tom commented as he went back to his own drink. 

“They tell me what I need to know,” he replied, looking over at him.

“Last time it didn’t help your case. I doubt it will this time,” he said, watching him again. 

“You don’t know what it told me last time,” he said, growling low in his throat.

“All I know is that while breaking up is hard you shouldn’t drown yourself in drink,” he replied. 

“You have no idea what’s going on with me so don’t pretend you do,” he snapped.

“I don’t think you should be talking to Tom like that. He hasn’t done anything wrong,” the Doctor chimed in.

“Just leave me alone,” he almost yelled at them.

Both men looked at each other and walked down a small way down the bar. The both stopped while they were still in earshot of him so they could run damage control for the Captain. 

“She seems really happy. I approve of her new social life,” the Doctor commented, watching her.

“A happy Captain makes for a happy crew,” Tom said, glancing over in their direction.

“It’s good for her health,” the hologram said.

“More than that, she deserves to be happy. It can’t have been easy doing her job for so long,” he said, finishing his drink. 

“You’d be surprised how easy it actually is,” Chakotay called over to them.

“I’m sure it isn’t that easy,” Tom snapped back at him before walking back to his end of the bar. 

Chakotay glared over at the couple as the talked to the people around them. He watched as they both laughed at something Harry Kim said and he had to admit they did look happy together. It didn’t change that they ruined him and destroyed his life but he had to admit they did make a good couple. It was like they just wanted to rub their happiness in his face, as if they wanted to spite him. 

He turned back to his drink, noticing he had barely had any of it since he had been given it. Gulping it down in one go he turned back to watch the bane of his existence. They did look kind of perfect together and he did seem to make her happy. Shouldn’t that be enough for him? Q had given up everything to be with her and he had been nothing but a dick about them. They definitely were happy and that should be enough for them.

He had to make this right. Otherwise he may have lost someone that may have been a good friend at some point. From now on they’d get his full support and he wouldn’t try to bring them down again. He would make this right.


	21. Chapter 21

Q was bent over the PADD in his hand, plotting the course they were going to take as their journey continued. He was typing in information about certain planets they would be coming into close contact with, trying to remember everything about the flora and fauna on them. Kathryn would occasionally glance up from the PADD in her hand to watch him think hard about planets and admire the cute look he got when he was trying to remember something. The afternoon carried on in this calm fashion until the door chime breaks the silence.

“Come,” Kathryn called out as she set her PADD down. 

Chakotay shuffled in, his head bent as he waited for the reaction he was sure to get from the two. In the almost shocked silence he glanced up, his eyes shifted from one to the other, waiting for something to happen.

“I came to apologize, actually apologize this time,” he said, offering up an olive branch to the couple.

Kathryn could feel the sadness show on her face but could feel the anger building up in her as she thought about how easy he wanted to make this whole thing without any thought to how they felt. Turning her head she could see Q glaring at him, his fists clenched so tightly the knuckles had turned white. 

“I can see how strong your bond is and I can’t get between you. I won’t allow myself to any more. I accept that you are together and that there is no changing that. I accept you,” Chakotay continued, a hint of desperation climbing in his voice. 

“Why?” she snapped at him, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I saw you. I really saw you. You were together and so happy, as it should be. I can’t argue that that isn’t the best thing for all parties involved. I could see the spark passing between you and it was as if my eyes had been opened for the first time and I could really see what was happening, what had been happening, for such a long time,” he explained, opening his palms out to them. 

“How can we know this isn’t part of some bigger scheme you’re cooking up, one that impacts us negatively?” Q cried, standing up in his rage.

“I can promise you that if I am working towards something bigger you can lock me up in the brig for the rest of the trip home. I promise that I will not do anything to get between you anymore and that I will certainly no longer try to win the heart of the Captain. Honestly, you can put me in the brig,” he said.

Kathryn frowned, not liking the idea of being thought of as something to be won. Q strode over to her and placed his arm around her waist, drawing her into his body as she placed her own arm around him. She could see Chakotay focus on their arms and could see the accepting look he gave it. 

“Thank you,” Q said, slightly sarcastically.

“I wish you every happiness,” Chakotay said before walking out of the room and back onto the bridge. 

Kathryn gently extracted herself from Q’s arms and turned on the spot, gracefully missing his chest as she did so. She raised her hand and lightly smacked him on the chest, making a snarky comment about the dominance of men and how stupid it all is. He laughed, drawing her into his arms again. 

“It’s you that make us like this. You drive men wild,” he joked, rubbing his nose against hers. 

“I do try,” she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He gently kissed her, drawing her further into him as he plundered her mouth with his tongue. She let out a quiet moan before drawing away from him. When he tried to kiss her again she pushed him away and walked back around her desk. At the sounds of Q’s protests she turned to face him.

“Get us something for lunch and then we’ll go back to work,” she said, ignoring the glare he sent her way.

They sit in silence as they ate the food Q had gotten from the replicator. Kathryn definitely preferred the food Q would send her while he was still a Q but she definitely she preferred him being human as he was. It made him more real to her, as if he more of a corporal being and less likely to leave on a whim as she knew his species often did. 

“What are you thinking about so hard?” he asked, putting his empty plate down.

“How much work I still have to do,” she lied before finishing off the last of her food.

“That’s not true and you know it,” he stated, gently taking her hand in his.

“I was just thinking about how wonderful it is to have you here, with me,” she replied softly, happiness radiating from her eyes.

“I should let you get back to work,” he whispered before kissing her temple and leaving the ready room with a smiling Kathryn left on the couch. 

As the smile left her face she got up and sat at her desk again, ignoring the sinking feeling she felt in her stomach when she looked at the stack of PADDs she still had to read through. She quickly snatched one up from the pile and began to read the information that was displayed, her thoughts something along the lines of ‘quicker I start the sooner I’ll be done.’ She left out the part about wanting to get home to Q as fast as she could. 

_________________>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. From conception to fruition this has been an incredible journey and I thank everyone who shared it with me. Most of all, I hope you all enjoyed it.


End file.
